Masturbation Addiction Explained

frustrated.jpgMasturbation addiction is probably one of the most misunderstood of all addictions. There are many who passionately argue that it is not an addiction but a perfectly healthy act to do whenever you please. Then there are those who are addicted and cannot stop and know that it is not good but have instead lost control of their life. There are many health professionals who endorse masturbation and quote a list of supposed benefits. Also, many parents encourage masturbation in place of teenage sex. In fact, it seems the only part of society that discourages masturbation is certain religions and addiction recovery groups. The rest of society just isn’t sure what to make of it. Since you are reading this you are probably confused yourself. I hope to clarify for you the mental and physical consequences of masturbation, especially if it has become an addiction for you. Keep in mind that porn addiction is closely related to masturbation addiction in terms of bodily processes.

Mental Consequences of Masturbation

The body is an amazing thing if used correctly. We can make choices and have feelings we could never have without the body. Your mood and level of happiness are directly effected by how you treat your body. When a person is addicted to masturbation it has a direct effect on their mental health. First of all, when we lack control in any area of our life we are not as happy as we could be if we were in control of that area. This is especially true with masturbation.

Everyone instinctively feels bad when they misuse the body. Some people choose to ignore these feelings and pretend to be happy when they actually are not since they lack inner peace. Masturbation addiction is the opposite of self-control and instead your body controls you. When ever your body feels an urge you feel like you have no choice but to do what it wants. This feels enslaving and saps your confidence and your ability to control your life in many aspects. When we set out to do a certain thing or accomplish a specific goal, this gives us confidence in our ability to control our bodies. When we masturbate, confidence is all but gone.

Emotionally, masturbation is devastating. Our bodies were meant to be used for a good purpose and to teahc us important lessons so that our character would increase in strength. We were meant to be in control of our bodies and our destinies, not the other way around. We become strong and confident by controlling the body. When we are single that is exactly what we are supposed to do. The most confident and successful people in the world are those who have learned self-control.

When we are married we use our bodies to create a bond of love with deep feelings of care for the other person. It is an act of sharing your feelings for the other person and it produces a union that is never experienced by the lone masturbator. The single person should be in control of their body and life before getting into a marriage otherwise the outcome of the marriage can easily be predicted. Masturbation is an act that makes a person selfish since there is no bond of love and kindness being created. The single person should be in control and be confident as they maintain a hope to create a bond of love with someone in the future. There is nothing more beautiful than two people in control of their bodies and their lives coming together in marriage. That is the marriage that will most likely succeed. Two confident people making a confident marriage.

Life involves relationships whether dating, at work, business, or just having fun. When a person masturbates, the ability to create and maintain relationships is hindered. Masturbation makes us more reserved and turns us inward to be concerned mostly with pleasing ourselves. Relationships are about caring for others and this is hard to do when we are being so selfish in private. Masturbation can cause us to be less outgoing and and we may isolate ourselves from others in shame. We may feel uncomfortable in crowds because we lack the confidence to conduct ourselves in a healthy social way. It can effect our dating relationships and put too much weight on the physcial part of the relationship and ignore the friendship that should be devoloping.

Physical Effects of Masturbation

I find it odd that so many health professionals promote masturbation when it has so many negative effects. The usual argument is that as long as you don’t do it too frequently then it is perfectly healthy. There are a couple of problems with this idea. First, what is too frequent? There are many numbers thrown around out there from several times a day to several times a week. Know one knows exactly. The other problem and the biggest is once you have started it is difficult to stop and keep the frequency low. There are a couple of reasons it is difficult to keep the frequency low. For one people usually masturbate to relax and escape the stresses of life. Well, life is stressful almost every day and eventually you find yourself masturbating to smaller stresses like the alcoholic drinking for any reason at all.

The other reason it is difficult to keep the frequency low is because the body was not made for masturbation. What I mean by that is there are different chemical reactions happening when you masturbate as opposed to having healthy sex in a marriage. A lot of what is going on during and after these acts originates in the pituitary gland. Two main hormones are interacting and regulating each other. These are the dopamine and prolactin hormones. Dopamine makes us feel excited and prolactin makes us feel relaxed. When a person reaches climax after arousal the body knows to release prolactin to suppress the dopamine so we will feel relaxed and satisfied. In marriage this is accompanied with many emotions of love and so the satisfied feeling is multiplied and you become bonded to your spouse physically and emotionally.

Over 400% more prolactin is released at climax when engaged in healthy sex with a loved one than when one masturbates. So What does that mean? That means that the person who masturbates is no where near as satisfied and definitely not bonded in love as they would be in a healthy normal marriage. In fact, the person who masturbates has no idea what they are missing out on but instead have sort of a pseudo miserable bond with fantasies that are ever changing and progressing in order to keep the person somewhat satisfied. The person who masturbates will continue to be excited by the unregulated levels of dopamine. They make feel a little relaxed but the arousal returns quickly and they must masturbate again in order to feel relaxed again. So with a shorter period of relaxation the person must masturbate more frequently to try to reach the equivalent level of relaxation they would have in a healthy marriage. They will never reach this level of satisfaction.

In this uncontrolled and unhappy state the person is definitely not even ready to experience a marriage since they have no self-control and would bring their warped sense of love into the marriage. Remember, true love involves self-control.

In conclusion, no good comes from masturbation. Those who promote it either have never dealt with the problem or have just created an opinion with little knowledge of the negative effects.

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52 thoughts on “Masturbation Addiction Explained

  1. Pingback: The nicotine of pornography addiction? « Catholic Writings

  2. Pingback: Catholic Sex Blog » Blog Archive » The nicotine of pornography addiction?

  3. It is very true that Masturbation is unhealthy for any person, but in terms of gender, more thank likely harder for men than women. I have been affected by this and still am affected by this unhealthy habit. I can tell anyone that it is not healthy! The addiction can become such a problem that depression becomes masturbations best friend. Once that occurs a women’s or man’s social status with the opposite sex declines rapidly. This is not good at all. One can start to feel uneasy around the opposite sex, which causes his or her to drift away.

    It is no doubt that masturbation is unhealthy, moreover the vices, such as pornography, lust and sexual disrespect to oneself and others causes the eruption of masturbation addiction. The more interesting thing to remember to is that you have to have the will to stop. It is more difficult for people who suffer from this problem because it is initiated by hormones. In order to stop the addiction it takes time and patience. The body uses hormones as the key initiator of sex response stimulus. Now when masturbating and frequently masturbating the body learns of shooting off hormones for a set time (i.e. per day, per week or even month), when we get emotionally excited about a picture or emotion. The problem is that it can learn to be habitual. So to fix this we have to fight it for a very long period. The good news is it can be fought.

    The most important aspect is to realize that it is not in the best our interest to seek masturbation for any reason. Masturbating is not intended to be used at all. The other facet as well, is if any one person desires to have a family that it must be fixed or the entire family could be deeply affected by the vice.

    I hope this helps. I know that it is an extremely difficult addiction to stop but the reward I am sure is more than worth one’s time in effort.

  4. im 18 years old and i have been masturbating from the age of 12 i can’t stop and i have side effects like back pain and fatig so if some one think’s that it’s good he is wrong

  5. I found that masturbation had become my primary stress reliever without me realizing it. This has made sobriety hard and led to slip ups because I had no effective coping mechanisms other than masturbation for dealing with stress.

    Stopping masturbation is kind of like going for a swim. It takes time to adjust to the water, but once you’re swimming you’re glad you didn’t just go home before the cool water got up to your balls and caused a moment of discomfort.

    I’ve come to realize that masturbation is as dangerous a drug as any other because it makes us ignore our real problems for another few hours or days while the problems persist, grow, and eventually crash down on us with devastating consequences. Those celebrity drug addicts don’t ruin their lives because cocaine or heroin is $10 per “hit.” They can afford more hits than they’ll ever consume in one life. Their lives are shattered because the drugs destroy their ability to cope, just as masturbation does for us. Losing your wife, job, or possessions due to masturbation is every bit as tragic as a celebrity or professional athlete losing those things due to snorting coke. Your losses might not make the tabloids, but you still have to suffer with them.

  6. Thank you for this helpful information. I began masturbating at age 15 and am now 40, I pray I can overcome this addiction.

  7. i am 38 years old and i have been addicted to masturbation since i was 18. i have masturbated almost every day since then and have only stopped for brief moments due to sickness or post surgeries. I have also stopped a few times when trying to prove to myself that i can stop masturbating. of course, it is a futile attmept. i have also suffered from other addicitons such as drugs and such but this one has ruined my life. it takes alot for me to not commit suicide and the only reason i dont is because i am scared to blow my brains out and beacuse i was taught that you go to hell if you do. if you are in your teens or early twenties, please stop mastrubating daily. i think it is ok to masturbate once a week. but if you do it at the rate i have been doing, your life will be a total hell. i guarantee it.

  8. I started masturbating when i was 12, I am now 13 and am 3 days off from my last masturbating time. I realise it’s unhealthy and i just felt bad.
    when i started masturbting I was feeling really, really horny. I’d try to imitate sex with anything i could, a tissue box, my soft toy. I never would have realised that my own hand would be most effective.
    I felt the orgasm (dry as i hadn’t gone through puberty at the time) and i felt like i was having a fit. My family is a spiritual one, so i thought i would literally be cursed. I went to the toilet and tried to pee, I don’t know, maybe i thought i could cleanse myself… and i couldn’t. I vowed never to do it again. But i realised that it had felt nice. So two days later i tried again. And every time i just kept going. Each time (almost) that I would never do it again. Im pretty good. And i’ve even stopped talking about all the gossip over msn in a hope to distance myself from any sexual feelings for a while. Wait until im married and i love someone dearly. I hope my willpower will stand up to the addiction of masturbation.

  9. i am from an orthodox hindu family and i have wrought sin upon myself and grief upon my family due to this wasteful habit of 14 years. i am now 26.
    i will swear it anywhere that heroin or any other drug is a baby compared to this demon of masturbation.i think God makes sinners addicts of this habit as a form of terrible punishment in this world. punishment in hell will come separately.

    • joy on 02.02.2009 at 07:50 (Reply)
      I can’t remember when I started masturbating…sometime in middle school. I’m now almost 24.
      I’m really thankful I found this website….and article. I’ve searched countless times on the internet about this subject…trying to get other people’s outlook on it. I’ve never heard the medical and hormonal side of it until tonight.
      I hate masturbating because of what I expose my eyes to to get me arroused. If I think about it, I have to gratify myself or else I obsess over it. It IS an addiction. so true.
      I want to stop so it doesn’t affect my future relationship with a husband and family, so I don’t feel like I’m living a secret life, so I don’t feel addicted and worn down, and many other reasons
      And Prasan, if you read this, I don’t believe God punishes us with sins and addictions. He HATES sin and doesn’t want to see us hurting ourselves or eachother!!!! And I believe there is hope for our struggles. hell does not have to be our destiny. I can’t explain it all in this….it has to be something God is showing you too. In his time. In your heart. But please, please see that God is merciful. There is grace. Please ask God to help you and show you his heart for you! I believe he gave us an AMAZING gift of grace and salvation through his Son. I know as a hindu you don’t believe that. But please….ask God to help you see his grace and love and ask for HELP! It’s in his hands!!!!

  10. masterbating since 13 and have been trying to stop this dreadful habit that has taken away 4 years of my life. All of my problems link to this horrible demoniac, no matter how many times i try to kick it, it comes back stronger and stronger! It has led me to countless suicidal thoughts and failure to cope with life… I cant take it anymore, i am the worst case scenario of masturbation. ive been highly disturbed by explicit images ive been exposed to and continue to feed my filthy-made mind.
    Its become out of my control, ive been abusing myself lately because of my shame….this habit, destroyed me…..killed who i was, killed who i could have been…i never told anyone of this, i fear the reactions, the history, it will leave a permanent scar on me, i dont want to be this, i hate me…..i hate me…..

  11. I have been addicted to masturbation all my life. i always felt uncomfortable amongst the opposite sex and used masturbation as a means of relieving my frustrations. This meant I never had the self confidence to project myself and as a consequence I am still a virgin such is my low self esteem at an age over 50 in spite of a high (and masturbation fuelled) sex drive. Now, alone in this world, I have a nasty growth on my penis probably caused by the excessive life-long abuse it has suffered, literally, at my own hand. Just recently I have been told it is likely malignant and that I may have to undergo partial or complete penile amputation. Let my experiences be a warning to others: leave it alone and allow your self esteem to come through as a happy and confident human being.

  12. Masturbation is a downward spiral. First, it is an exciting feeling; you realize that you have a simple way to pleasure yourself. Eventually, though, like any drug, it becomes harder and harder to please yourself in any real way. You must increase your habits: first, you masturbate more. Second, you need more of a stimulus; no longer is your imagination of that one cute girl good enough, as you need actual pornography. Then, it goes further downward. Regular consensual sex in pornography is no longer good enough. The choice of women are too great and you demand the best looking ones. You need new and risque images of sex to help you.

    Eventually, no matter how long it takes, you will cross the threshhold of public shame. Shaytan has gotten to you in private, now he wants to drag you into public and humiliate you. You will see that strip bar or that xxx store and you will feel the temptation to go in. After seeing it many times, you decide to make the plunge. You traverse the aisles, pick out things that will make your habit easier, and return home.

    More and more stimulus is needed, and your body has been trained to do everything anonymously. Soon enough, you crave the casual encounter, wanting nothing more than to live out the sickening fantasies you’ve grown attached to online.

    I reached my lowest point when I resorted to escort services to meet my needs. I contantly felt the need to masturbate for ridiculous reasons and excuses: “I need to make sure I don’t have ED”, “I could seriously hurt my body if I don’t let it all out”, “it makes it so I have to go to the bathroom less and that is a good convenience,” or “I won’t be able to fall asleep unless I expel some energy.” No longer was I desperate for razzle and dazzle, I was just desperate for the fix. I was willing to meet someone anonymously, pay them exhorbitant amounts of money, and leave entirely unsatisfied as I was delivered less than what my pornstar-oriented mind demanded. I lacked true intimacy, connection, and love. I failed at being able to translate my compassion to another.

    After that, I completely gave myself up to Allah, realizing my faults. I haven’t masturbated since, and I can tell you that there IS hope for a good life outside of the habit. For all those thinking there is no joy outside of your world of pornography, I will tell you there is. I have rapidly begun to appreciate relationships in life again. My connection with my family has grown more than before. I can see true beauty in all people around me without envisioning lust and denigration. What is most amazing is that I can realize the beauty in things besides women as well: nature, my self-control, and so much else make me feel good about myself. When I think about sex in any way, I can feel myself willing to give my body to one person and one person only and feel good about it. I no longer fear sharing my tech toys with my friends in case they find something dirty I missed. I no longer feel out of control.

    There are always a couple difficulties with escaping an addiction, though. It has only been a short time for me away from my addiction, so occasionally I still feel urges to return. Every time, in my mind, I scream away the addiction, yelling at Shaytan to leave me alone, and I feel much better. The morning is the hardest to overcome; whatever dreams I have leave me in a state that desires masturbation. Every morning I must remind myself of how unhealthy I felt when I was out of control. But, every morning, the temptation becomes weaker.

    Looking back just a short while ago from the outside, I realize that I lost a complete concept of reality. The world has come back into focus again. I only had one other addiction before in my life, and it was to soda (I have since returned, to my regret, but I had a purpose to quit so I could run better and I am no longer able to run after an injury), and I have to say, masturbation was the most dangerous beast I have ever experienced.

    For those trying to escape masturbation: try fasting. you become more god-conscious, you lower your metabolism, and you have a lower amount of lustfulness inside you. I pray all of you can escape this habit and I hope you will all pray for me, whatever your faith is, to allow me to stay away.

    • wow! You have been through the rut for sure! I know exactly what you are talking about. When i first started, i was 13 and i was able to do it any time and any place. Then i discovered pornography on the internet… it was a roller coaster ride to hell from there. I became dependant on pornographic images, i could orgasm in less then three minutes with porn, but without it, it would take me twenty to thirty minutes! Then i would feel so guilty and perverted after masturbating to porn. My slump into the world of porn, distorted my mind, and convinced me that the things i saw was normal sexual behaviors…IT ISNT! Porn addiction leads to unhealth sexual behaviors like sleeping with excorts of even ppl of the same sex! It totally perverts your mind… things that would’ve digussed u before, becomes interesting and attractive. It’s totally sick! Now i’m in a committed relationship. My girlfriend hates porn and anything label “adult material” I promised to get rid of my pornography but fell short two times bcuz i was so dependant on it for masturbation. It’s a battle everyday to stay away from porn, but i still masturbate to images recorded in my brain!

  13. i am 22. i am not so much addicted to the act of masturbating itself, but pornography. i feel pornography is almost if not the equivalent to cocaine (another substance i have abused in the past), considering both’s affects feel too good to be true. the ridiculously good looking woman completely exposed is like a magnet that pulls you back for more. the toxic images of porn along with the release of important nutrients that my body produces and exposes of after climax leaves me feeling high and dry, unconfident, anti social, and just shameful. masturbation/pornography is as much a drug as any other but what makes it even more frightening is that it is almost free if you have connection to the internet. it is a selfish act and i want to push it away. going without indulging for months periods makes me such a better person- im a hit with the ladies, my confidence sky rockets, i just feel more energetic and over all happier. one peak at that bullshit sends all that down the drain in a second and i have to wait another month to feel the same again. kids, teens, adults, who ever you are- porn aint right. it’s tempting for sure, but it’s nothin but a black hole. what it has the potential to do is straight up ugly.

  14. I’m only 20, started masturbating at 13. At 15 I started feeling like crap, depression and all. At 18, I stopped masturbating for a little bit, just to test self control, not knowing masturbating had negative mental health issues that came with it. I will say i had never felt better in my life. I started again at 19, and now I feel like crap again. After a very stressful event recently, I started masturbating 2-5 times a day. I do not have an addiction problem as I have not masturbated for the last week, but I’m here to tell you this article is 100% true. It’s absolutley SICK that teachers, and society tells young teens masturbation is okay. This world is getting more and more screwed up.

    • I’ve been masterbating for over a year now. I started noticing that I get disgusted afterwards. I want to stop (its been a week) but it keeps pulling me back in. I go through cycles where I’m just not that into it. The next few days….I won’t be able to resist. I’ve never read anything about this addiction but I did notice a change in myself. Its been to the point where I don’t have control over it. The porn I watch is not a reflection of what I want but it has to be something that stimulates me enough so that I reach my peak even more quickly (it gives me a rush). Sick….it is! I hate it! I am trying to kick this habit before it gets even worse…….HELP!!!

  15. I can’t remember when I started masturbating…sometime in middle school. I’m now almost 24.
    I’m really thankful I found this website….and article. I’ve searched countless times on the internet about this subject…trying to get other people’s outlook on it. I’ve never heard the medical and hormonal side of it until tonight.
    I hate masturbating because of what I expose my eyes to to get me arroused. If I think about it, I have to gratify myself or else I obsess over it. It IS an addiction. so true.
    I want to stop so it doesn’t affect my future relationship with a husband and family, so I don’t feel like I’m living a secret life, so I don’t feel addicted and worn down, and many other reasons
    And Prasan, if you read this, I don’t believe God punishes us with sins and addictions. He HATES sin and doesn’t want to see us hurting ourselves or eachother!!!! And I believe there is hope for our struggles. hell does not have to be our destiny. I can’t explain it all in this….it has to be something God is showing you too. In his time. In your heart. But please, please see that God is merciful. There is grace. Please ask God to help you and show you his heart for you! I believe he gave us an AMAZING gift of grace and salvation through his Son. I know as a hindu you don’t believe that. But please….ask God to help you see his grace and love and ask for HELP! It’s in his hands!!!!

    • Hello all…..I feel so blessed to have come across this website and to know that I am not the only one suffering with this impulse addicition disorder known as masturbation. Really I have been trying to figure out exactly why I couldnt stop completely. I have been masturbating ever since I was 10 or 11, I am now 24. And porn accompanied my masturbation. So that couldve helped trigger the start of this as well. SO just today I said…..you know what I am tired of this, something has got to be wrong with me and I am going to find out. And I came across this website among other sites and found out alot of common things I have been experiencing for yrs and feel so honored and blessed to understand my addiction. I would pray and the next day masturbate again you know. I am a religious person so I was like why cant I just stop but I couldnt. I thank God for letting me find out exactly what my mind and body were going through and understanding my addiction. It was alot worse when I was younger…but getting older and trying to be a better Christian I dont do it everyday and it also makes me very depressed and filled with strange thoughts like suicide(just a little though), so I can tone it down but you know it still isnt a thing of my past. I struggle with it and it makes me unhappy. I want a husband and kids and want to be satisfied and explore things with him. This day starts my life of change and determination to see this addiction a thing in my past so I can be a more happier young woman for the next stages to come in my life and beyond. Thanks 2 al who responded your comments helped me alot. God bless

  16. I have been suffering from masturbation addiction for decades (I’m now 48). It has caused me numerous problems, including my pending divorce. It takes so much of my time that I am not living up to my family’s reasonable expectations and I have no time for any social activities. I find the urge to masturbate strongest when I’m under stress, but it seems to just feed the stress more soon afterward because it puts me under more time pressure.

    I’m going to seek medical help – finally. I don’t know if an anti-depressant or an anti-anxiety medication would be suitable.

    Anyone who says that this isn’t a very destructive addiction doesn’t understand it.

  17. hey im new here. i 17 and masturbating for the last 4 years almost twice daily sometimes thrice also. and i am very addicted to porn also. the first thing i do when i switch on the p c is check out a porn video but i have always wanted to change.luckily, luckily i found a website where many masturbation obsessed people were trying 2 give up the habit by challenging themselves to a 30 day masturbation challenge. i took the challenge and 2day is the 4th day without masturbation, n its going okay. the only thing i’m worried about is that are there any health consequences for a person who used to masturbate twice daily all of a sudden stops it.
    i had a weird thought that maybe the sperm forming capacity of my body had incresed due to masturbation and if i stop i suddenly then it may get stored in the prostate(OR SOMEWHERE ELSE?!) which may lead to bad results. please comment urgently n quickly
    help me out guys…..

    • To abhishek,
      I’m no expert on the body functions but your fears are incorrect concerning sperm storage. Nothing like that will happen. If it did, there would be comments warning about that and this article would have mention that. Search the internet and you’ll see it’s only your imagination. No one else has complained about this.

  18. masturbation is healthy for prostate, masturbation increases you confidence, masturbation relieves stress….

    B.S.

    Maybe it may be healthy for the prostate but I cannot recall a single time in my life of having energy after masterbating. I become very sluggish and depressed and the thought of having wasted time on self pleasuring myself ALONE without any social life increases my stress level. It maybe beneficial physically but the notion that it relieves pent up sexual thoughts is useless. Masturbating and porn only increases one’s frequency of lusting after women and seeking more extreme and bizarre way of sex.
    This is not a healthy habit to develop, and there have been so many serial killers and rapist who have had the recurring pattern of porn/masturbation in their early life.

  19. Although I myself have not been able to go without masturbating over a week, I’m realizing very well that I have to change my way now or else just worsen this addiction. “I’ll stop tomorrow” or “just one more time” will NOT work.
    I believe that the only solution is not masturbating at all. Building a specified pattern for when to masturbate never worked for me and never will.

  20. Hey guys thnx 4 helpn me out n rplyin. Wth a hvy hrt i say tht i broke the 30 challenge after 5 days only but let me tell u tht i started noticin the positive effects of it after 4 days only. Dnot know if its just psychological or what but its good to give up masturbation really. Im on the challenge again n todays the 4th day. Why dnot u guys take the challenge and comment about ur experiences here. Maybe together we can fight this habit. Lets do it guys! Best of luck

  21. To abhishek,
    you don’t have to worry. Your body is God’s masterpiece and is perfectly designed. God took care for everything. Your body will expel unused and stored sperm from time to time since night fall (unconscious expulsion of sperm during sleep) occurs. Just give up this destructive habit once and for all.
    P.S. To the author of this blog,
    You are doing a tremendous favor to the suffering mankind. I don’t know do you realize how valuable and worth your work is. You are a great man. God made me come across your blog. May God help you keep doing your honorable and noble mission. Thank you very much.

  22. Well i changed myself, and i find i have a crazy sex drive.. I am now trying to take a more religious path, i am a orthodox christian 19 years old, and i’ve had bad stages of doing it 6 times a day. I just went the past 4 days, and now i wont do it again. Your exactly right, you feel much more social and confident after not doing this. Pray to jesus that he may help you get through. I’m praying not only for this little bad habit too go, but i’m trying to hold out till the woman i marry. God Bless you all and Good luck, theres still a chance for everyone to give it up, i suggest filling in your time a little more E.g, church, excersize (football, afl, rugby, running, walking,). When someone asks you to go for a coffee or talk on the phone, do it and dont say no. Even if they dont arrange plans to do something, believe me makes it alot easier to quit instead of sitting at a computer one click away.

    research jesus, learn about everything, every key term, every saint. This would fill in alot of time, and not only tell you about god but let you know you can be forgiven for what you’ve done.

  23. My husband is addicted to masturbation and I found this website. I am grateful for the information on here, it really helped my level of understanding. I am reaching out to wives of sex addicts and have joined a women’s support group which has been very helpful. My husband is emotionally detached and we have major intimacy issues. His “drug of choice” masturbation has caused us continual marital problems. I am grateful to finally understand that is nothing I ever did but is his problem. It has been his problem for years, he starting masturbating when he was a young boy to seek comfort for his emotional needs that were not being met. When you live with the effects of this sin it is devastating, I felt married but so alone! I am grateful for any information that can help educate and give me more understanding of why my husband does what he does…I can’t change his behaviors, but the information helps me change mine. I wish everyone the very best. God bless you for seeking help!

    • For the last 20 yeares i am masturbating…and now just want to get rid of this habbit… yes i agree with its bad effects on life and body if we overdo it… and i was overdoing it regularly since the last 20 years…. every week 3 to 4 times i have to do it….in addition to it i have this strange habbit of japanse porn addiction which i use to watch at every available oppurtunity. i know it has cost me so many things in real world but still unable to stop it. i need help to stop these two bad habbits immediately….help needed.

    • Hi Debra, Just found this site. I too have a husband that’s battling this problem. However, he does not see it as an addiction. (denial) One book that I believe may be helpful is: Every Man’s Battle” May God continue to bless you as you continue on this road to recovery with your mate.

  24. Ever since i first did it which was when i was 15 i knew it was bad, but it felt so good. I’ve experienced every other disadvantage of this addiction mentioned in all your comments advantages, besides the mirage of self gratification, i’ve not. I always thought i had strong enough will power to stop at will, but after successive attempts i’d always relapse sometimes after a couple of days sometimes after twenty was never too strong to break away from these chains. I used to be a brilliant student up until this happened and from then on it has just been a downward spiral. I’m 21 now and have still not broken free. As of now, i’m “clean” since the past 2 days, thats when i decided that enough is enough. I take one day at a time, meditate and trust God. It is his plan for me to be happy, unfortunately bad choices and dis-respect clouded my vision and left me with these wounds from which i am and will be recovering. I know i will come out of this a stronger person, and i hope you all too.
    P.S. If anyone would be interested, i will be checking back and will post my progress or anything that helped me.

  25. I’m 17 and have been suffering masturbation addiction for the past year. It really has screwed up my life… I’m now in my final year of school and because of this uncontrollable addiction I can barely last 5 minutes studying before I get distracted. It really is terrible.

  26. I have recently realized that I masturbate way too often. Before the past two days, I have been masturbating more and more each week… in the last couple of months, it has been once or twice a day. Not as bad as many, but a lot worse than many more.

    I started when I was twelve, when it was of course dry. But that is completely irrelevant. I have began the “quitting” process – that is, I have not in the past two days… I plan on keeping it that way.

    I will not profess to have had lowered self-confidence… but it is not healthy to be dependent on anything. That is the reason I am stopping.

  27. All of you guys are right… me i became so frustrated because of this adiction but i realized that if you want to stop accept that your battle with your self is an endless battle bec. i tried to stop.. and i make to stop until 2months of not doing it but suddenly when i try to think of this sex things i begun to do this stupid thing again.!!! so when you tell to your self to stop doing this, dont give any place of weakness anywhere, anytime!!! accept that stopping this sin is a very tremendously serious issue.. dont underestimate it.. eventhough you able to stop it until one year it doesnt mean that the temptation became weak… just put to your mind that you need to put your whole armor(i mean your strong desire or motivation to stop this evil thing) every time , every place and be on guard with yourself and ask god to change you because you cannot change your self.. only god can do it.. (of course do your part…!!)

  28. I’ve been dependent on self-pleasure for 40+ years … reading the posts on this site has helped me realize that I’m not the only person with the addiction. My mother said I had a “problem” decades ago; it took me a long time to face up to her being correct about that. Masturbation has been my drug of choice for so long … extremely cheap and always on hand, pardon the pun. I’ve used it to alleviate boredom, low self-esteem, anxiety, revenge (only in my mind) and sometimes sheer terror, but the effects don’t last and I always feel like sh*t afterwards. To the wives who are dealing with their husbands’ addictions: I salute you for caring enough to take on the monster for your loved ones’ sakes. Good luck to all of you, and to me.

  29. hmmmm. im just curious can anyone answer my question please… what do you think is the way to overcome this habit.. between these two.. 1. to stop doing it totally or 2. to try the step by step for example: i am not doing it for 15 days, after i successfully done it i will let my self to do it for once only, afetr that i will aim for 20 to 30 days of not doing it and so on….. until i able to resist it for 1 or many of years and to stop doing it totally. what do you think.. bec. it is very difficult to stop the habit that you already acustom with for many years, someone says… you cannot stop it by forcing yourself to stop totally unless you start slowly. please someone im just wandering….

  30. Oh wow, good to see some reality checks.. Quite a few really.. Heres how masturbation screwed me up. First off, women do like me, it must be my looks and confidence. (from doing mirror affirmations) But I lost my job recently, and have been unemployed for like 3 or 4 months.. Yup, meaning ALOT of home time. So I ended up my masturbation cycle of like 4-6 times a day. Yeah, thats alot i know. And heres how I have been feeling…

    *Low energy. Sluggishness.
    *Lack of motivation and drive in life in general.
    *Weakness, drowsiness,laziness.
    *Not being able to have the drive to meet new women, due to lack of me feeling attraction towards them. Cause of all the dang porn.
    *Low self esteem/confidence.
    *Slight depression. This came from the low energy.
    *Absent mindedness, dumb moments.. (way more than when I wasnt doing it.)
    *Anti-social attitude
    *Frustration
    To sum it all up, over masturbation screwed up my life. I felt like I could control it to an extent, but I came back to doing it all day again. Guys, I do have the slightest of advice though, If you are feeling low self confidence or something, try mirror affirmations. such as “i am very confident in myself” “I am a sexy motherf***” “women want me everywhere I go” etc. AS for jacking off, I will try to stop. or cut down to like 3 times a week. As if i do it like 31 days a week, My confidence is at an all time low. I hope you guys and girls can find it in you to keep it at a bare minimum, you dont have to stop completely, but more than 3 times a week is probably the point where you feel he effects… I noticed, when I stopped masturbation, I had the opposite affects of what I named above…Complete opposite. And thats how I want to live my life. Free and confident,assertive,motivated.

    • This is for lee and Peter. Thanks for sharing all these insights. I am affcted by this as well and I thought that I had ADD etc. But it seems like I am affected by this problem. Also, I think that i may have add as well. So these two problems are feeding of each other well starting immidiately, I will quit and keep all my fellow friends in loop with my progress.

  31. Hi

    I feel really blessed to have finally found this site and to know that there are people out there struggling with this like me.
    My story is sad. Currently, I’m homeless but that’s the end of the story. I’m 25 and I started masturbating when I was in my mid-teens. It started out as a curiosity rather than a need to satisfy anything and as time went on, it became a need. I come from a well-to-do home and I’m the only child in the family. I never really had a lack of anything. I only needed to say the word and I had my wish. Came to UK to school some 6 years back with high hopes and dreams but today, I’m in an even worse state that I would ever have imagined. Masturbation has drained me of any iota of self-confidence, the ability to concentrate on things that actually need doing, an ability to truely love someone else, any sense of reality. Its destroyed my ability to excel academically. I used to be top of my class (always) growing up, but today I struggle to make sense of any academic material. I find reasons to postpone my coursework at school a little bit longer, because as long as I know there’s a coursework to be completed, the more I find a reason to be at the PC (I’m studying IT, see). Its gotten so bad that I’m homeless at the moment as strange as that may sound, but as long as I am able to find an isolated place to get my fix, I’m “ok”.
    The sad reality is that until today, I never found any grounds to believe that I had an addiction or that masturbation was a serious addiction and that all of my problems actually stem from this madness. So I convinced myself that there was no harm done. Now I know different.
    Its hard to quit. I try…not that I don’t. I can’t even bring myself to explain the burden I’ve carried on my mind all these years… not to anyone. Not even to myself.

    I’m so happy I found this site that I can’t hold back my tears. I know now deep down, there’s hope for me and I’m going to break this no matter what it takes. This has seriously hampered my chances of having any sort of relationship with a girl.

    I’ll beat this and I will be back to tell you all that I’ve finally done it.
    Thanks for all the replies above, They’ve helped immensely.

  32. after surfing the web for porn and masturbating for the fourth time that day i realized enough was enough. i have been struggling with this addiction for over 10 years now and has had devastating effects on my life. it cost me a relationship of 7 years with a wonderful women. it has cost thousands of dollars in credit card charges. i had know idea that this was such a problem in society and thankful theres somewhere i can go to discuss it with other people suffering from this also. today is day one and with the grace of god maybe i can beat this thing once and for all. good luck to everyone and god bless.

  33. First of all thanks to God and the author of this blog. The topic discussed here and experiences shared by all of you guys are really great. It gives a lot of hope to me in overcoming my masturbation addiction. I’ve had a long history of masturbation dilemma. Started when I was only 10years old. At the beginning it was just a bodily experience, just an arousal and feeling of excitement at a so called ‘orgasm’. As I grow into my teen age, what sex is all about came to my understanding. The limited perspective at that time didn’t trigger me to undertake any serious initiative to overcome this struggle. Reading the issues discussed about masturbation at here has several commonality to what I’ve faced. In my case it is not about whether it is a right or wrong thing, since there are several occasions where it has helped me to cope with stress. The real issue would be the effects, mentally and physically in the long run. Thoughts created from this habit can sometimes be very disturbing. It truly does undermine your confidence level. The past few years, I’ve used masturbation as a form of sleeping drug. Not that there any sleeping problem. Just, the sleep feels more intense. Unconsciously, programmed my body to ‘feed’ it before sleeping. The side affects though, are not really worth it. Physically, I felt uneasiness at knee joints and increase of facial and body acne. Concentration becomes really poor, distraction are imminent; really deprives from true and constant potential of real growth mentally and spiritually. Giving a thought about it, pornography has been a driver for this habit. Since the internet era made its outburst, porn content are delivered to us in simple cliks of our mouse. But then, I wouldn’t have discovered this site if weren’t for the Internet. Today I’m going to sign up for the program to overcome my addiction. I strongly believe if we put our mind, heart and soul to overcoming our struggle, it will be done. Hating masturbation is not really a key. Anything overcomed by hate will only lead to another problem. Just love quiting masturbation. Love the effects gained from overcoming it. Love the purity and confidence level brought out by relinquincing it. Just my two cents.

  34. I am so glad that I came upon this website. I am 24 years old and i have been masturbating since i was 13, like every single day. I have had terrible luck with the ladies, and i have always kind of thought it was because of masturbating. After reading this article and all these comments, i now realize that is exactly the problem. i just masturbated and started feeling like shit immediatly,(just like everytime.) so i looked up masturbation addiction, and here we are. I need to quit today. It is ruining my life. I would hate to be married someday and have some dirty little secret that i always have to sneak and hide from my wife.

  35. I have used masturbation as a coping mechanism ever since my father died when I was 8. For some reason the feeling replaced the emptiness I felt. I find it hard to think of a time I didn’t do it. I find now that I can help but do it and I feel as if my arousal is way out of whack, always wanting to do it more, sometimes as much as 5 in a day. I keep telling myself I’ll go a week without it starting today, but inevitably that fails. I did ‘keep clean’ for week because I was sleeping with my cousins and constantly around family. I found that my life improved 10 times, then I got back home and fell into the same routine. Masturbation of course can be healthy and at one time in my life I felt that but the way that I depend on it cannot go on. I’m glad there are others out there like me fighting the same problem together.

  36. I figured that there are only comments from male posters here, but the issue of masturbation is also a very real one for many females I think. I started doing it in my early teens, on and off, and only at the age of 30, I quit doing it after a sermon of a preacher that made a big impression on me. Then I was “clean” for 2 1/2 years, but unfurtunately I slipped back into it. It all began with my new satellite TV, where I saw women undressing and touching themselves. I also had a “cyber relationship” at that time which stimulated me to do it again. Then I struggled with it again for 3 1/2 years, somtimes with big intervals. About three months ago, I listened to a sermon again which compelled me to stop doing it alltogether. I haven’t done it ever since, and I’m thankful that the Lord has been helping me. Yet, I’m not completely pure in my thoughts yet. I’m often tempted to imagine how wonderful it would be to have sex with my future husband. It’s hard to live with this unquenched desire for intimacy, but I pray that the Lord may help me to cope with it and to become pure in my thoughts.

  37. this site has opened my eyes…… I am not alone. I have been addicted to porn/masterbating since I was 13. I am now 33. I have become very good at hiding this., however it has ruined my life. I am starting over, but feel bad for the way it turned out. I was so wrapped up in porn and masterbating that I completely ignorned my wife. I didn’t do it while she was around, but would do it for hours and hours when she wasn’t.. It would get to the point where I couldn’t use my penis for anything for days, as it would be so swollen and sore. so what could I do. I couldn’t make love to my wife or let her find out, so I just stopped trying.. I can’t imagine how she must have felt. She got so lonely that she turned to another man. when this came out, she looked like the bad one, for cheating on me. we have since broke up and I have started over. But I see myself heading down the same path again. I need to stop now. I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on this, between cam girls, porn sites and my latest little addiction, buying lingerie.. and strippers,,,,whatever can get me off. it is not good. like I said, I have been able to hide this for years, but I am in a relationship with someone I love alot now, and I don’t want to end up alone.. I want to commit to her, and her alone, that would be my dream, not spending my nights in front of a computer paying a stranger 2-5 dollars a minute to strip for me, so I can masterbate in front of her. porn is the worst thing in the world. I can’t imagine a life without it, but I also do not want to be alone, I hate being alone. will power hopefully will prevail. the next few weeks will be difficult, but I feel I am ready. I was was just getting ready to spend about 800 dollars on buying lingerie.. for what? I don’t know… I just hide it under my bed so no one will find it. I look at it, but that is it. it doesn’t even get me turned on. it’s the rush of getting it in the mail I think.
    like I said. today is the first day of a new life. I am tired of being broke because I spent money on a porn site , when I could have paid a bill or taken my girl out. this is as bad as any drug addiction. I think a drug addiction would be easier to kick, as I would be less ashamed of it. then I could ask for help. i am only doing it 2-3 times a wee now, but should be making love with my girl instead. it doesn’t make sense to me anymore. wish me luck….

  38. I’m 42 years old and I’ve been addicted masturbating since I was 13. I’ve been addicted to porn for since 1998 (13 years), when I first started using the Internet.

    I feel that these addictions have really hurt my life. I’ve never married, I rarely date, and there are so many things that I have failed to do because I’ve spent so much of my life masturbating in front of a computer!

    This HAS to end. And, it has to end now! I have reached the bottom and I am not going to stay here any longer. I am going to do whatever it takes to end my addictions and start living a quality life. If I have to hire a psychologist, I’ll do it. If I need to join some kind of a support group, I’ll do that too.

    I’m done. Please send your positive thoughts my way!

  39. I am 22. I believe this website is very true. I hate masturbation and Ill tell you why. I started masturbating at a very young age (11 or 12 maybe?). I would go on the TV and look at those xxx commercials any chance I got. I loved it but it did make me feel dirty. I stopped doing it as frequently when I noticed that I wanted and needed more to get off. I never quit, just did it less often. The first time I was with a man it did nothing for me. Ive been with quite a few and only one man could get me off ONE time! I feel I ruined sex for myself. Now I am with a man who is addicted to pornography and masturbation. I felt he cured me at first because I felt passionate with sex and I had an orgasm almost every time. About a year and a half into the relationship (and after him promising multiple times that he would quit looking at porn) he told me something that would change my life. He told me that from the get go, every time we were intimate with eachother he was picturing being with another woman. A woman who in society today was “perfect”. So every time I was passionate with him was FAKE!!! To me he was my world. He satisfied me and made me feel so great about myself. And come to find out he never once made love to ME. He was making love to some porn star… not ME!!! I’m beautiful and I know that but I have never felt so ugly in my life! He has made me want to alter myself physically. I wouldnt wish this feeling on anyone. So, about 6 months later after he promised he had EASILY quit fantisizing about other women and looking at porn and only a couple weeks after our son was born, I saw he had tried looking at porn again on my computer. All these feelings came back and with it came me starting to look at porn myself. I started looking at it maybe because I am lonely and want to be in the wrong too? Well I dont know but please change yourself if you can. I stopped looking at porn again because I wasnt that deep into it, but I now have to face the decision of staying or leaving my soul mate because of his choices and how he destroyed me. Our son is a month old. He is the father to my other child, and masturbation and porn has ruined this family and any chance of happiness.

  40. Hello,
    Started masturbating and watching porn round about when I was 13, dunno why?? Maybe out of curiosity or maybe because I caught my dad watching it. I am now 17 and it has seriously fucked up my life so far – I have no confidence a low self-esteem and I find it extremely hard to socialise with people without feeling awkward. I currently jerk off about 2-3 times a day and have recently tried stopping…. Lasted 4 days!!! :O not good enough. I felt so good about myself when I stopped and didn’t really feel the need to do it. But then I found myself alone in my room fixated to my laptop once again. Contemplated killing myself because of that! I don’t know if I have the will power to overcome this addiction. If your ever in the same situation as me when your cooped up in your room a lot of the time try to find something constructive to do, something that will take your mind off thinking about gross selfish thoughts and hopefully you’ll overcome the addiction!!
    Good luck to everyone and you’ll know if I done it again because I will be posting another message on here.

    Day 1 begins for real ;)

  41. I started masturbating when i was in my Second year of University, bachelors Degree. I was a performer, intelligent, smart generally passing my exams with A+ atleast A- but passing well since first year.

    I wasn’t so much into gals but books. One evening after my assignments, i decided to check a pornography site. I could wait when my room goes to play football and could visit all pornography sites. After a week, i started fondling my private parts, this how it all started. I could masturbate almost every evening after watching pornography. I grew thin, i got weak, i no longer wanted to go for lectures but watch pornography and masturbate. My parents started wondering about my health. Indeed my mum was inquisitive, was taken for medical check for any diseases but was normal. Of course she wanted to know what happened to me even when i kept telling her i was ok. My grades dropped from a first class Degree to a second class degree. I struggled completing my bachelors Degree. I had poor vision, my back was always paining, my skin was all ashy. This is a bad act, through out my University life i never dated any girl, however much they came to my room to catch movies with me. i was less attracted to them. I never cared, little i didn’t know was digging my own grave.
    Luckily i got a part time job, i could take breaks to masturbate, i was always late at work because my body was always drained, i could not perform my job well. Thank God, i saved some money, and so got a scholarship too study masters Degree in Engineering. I have been here for roughly half a year, i have not passed any courses so far, i only pass projects and practicals. My vision is poor, i have poor time management, am so weak, i have a poor memory. I have no girlfriend, my world is crumbling because of masturbation. I have tried quitting, i ran for about seven days without it and the cycle continues. My family has a lot of expectations from me. I feel so bad. Guys i have everything it takes ti succeed in life. Am pursuing an amazing Engineering program. I don’t what to do. Masturbation is the worst addiction you can ever encounter in life. I have a lot of damn gross selfish thoughts. I have tried everything possible, i have no friends, i hate associations especially in a foreign land. Otherwise am so well behaved a guy, my hygiene is great, am not alcoholic nor drunkard. It’s too much than i can take, am from a strong christian family. Its too bad, am worried of losing my program at University. Am not determined anymore, selfish, i never care anymore about anything. Someone help me out of this damn boat. I hate running after gals again. My health is so bad, am so weak with my muscles. I need yo help!. Again somebody please hellppp. This article i have read is so great. Let me start with day one (TODAY). I have not talked to anyone, Hope i overcome this addiction.

  42. I started masturbating when i was in my Second year of University, bachelors Degree. I was a performer, intelligent, smart generally passing my exams with A+ atleast A- but passing well since first year.

    I wasn’t so much into gals but books. One evening after my assignments, i decided to check a pornography site. I could wait when my room goes to play football and could visit all pornography sites. After a week, i started fondling my private parts, this how it all started. I could masturbate almost every evening after watching pornography. I grew thin, i got weak, i no longer wanted to go for lectures but watch pornography and masturbate. My parents started wondering about my health. Indeed my mum was inquisitive, was taken for medical check for any diseases but was normal. Of course she wanted to know what happened to me even when i kept telling her i was ok. My grades dropped from a first class Degree to a second class degree. I struggled completing my bachelors Degree. I had poor vision, my back was always paining, my skin was all ashy. This is a bad act, through out my University life i never dated any girl, however much they came to my room to catch movies with me. i was less attracted to them. I never cared, little i didn’t know was digging my own grave.
    Luckily i got a part time job, i could take breaks to masturbate, i was always late at work because my body was always drained, i could not perform my job well. Thank God, i saved some money, and so got a scholarship too study masters Degree in Engineering. I have been here for roughly half a year, i have not passed any courses so far, i only pass projects and practicals. My vision is poor, i have poor time management, am so weak, i have a poor memory. I have no girlfriend, my world is crumbling because of masturbation. I have tried quitting, i ran for about seven days without it and the cycle continues. My family has a lot of expectations from me. I feel so bad. Guys i have everything it takes ti succeed in life. Am pursuing an amazing Engineering program. I don’t what to do. Masturbation is the worst addiction you can ever encounter in life. I have a lot of damn gross selfish thoughts. I have tried everything possible, i have no friends, i hate associations especially in a foreign land. Otherwise am so well behaved a guy, my hygiene is great, am not alcoholic nor drunkard. It’s too much than i can take, am from a strong christian family. Its too bad, am worried of losing my program at University. Am not determined anymore, selfish, i never care anymore about anything. Someone help me out of this damn boat. I hate running after gals again. My health is so bad, am so weak with my muscles. I need yo help!. Again somebody please help. This article i have read is so great. Let me start with day one (TODAY). I have not talked to anyone, Hope i overcome this addiction.

  43. One of the main reasons why it’s so easy to have a masturbation addiction these days is because this world we live in is so sexualized. I know because I deal with it all the time. Seems like wherever I go young girls are dressing more skimpy, and wearing tight jeans. The other day I noticed a neighbor’s daughter and she was showing her cleavage to everyone. At work my big breasted young coworker was practically showing it off. Between all this, I definitely felt the urge to masturbate once I got home. I also wondered what’s going on with females these days, they are so sexy but it’s also causing me some strange feelings.

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