How to Stop Looking at Porn on the Computer

If you feel like you absolutely must use the computer but are trying to stay away from porn then there are several things you can do. First off, please understand that there is no full proof 100% way to make your computer safe from the temptation of porn. There are several deterrents that, depending on your level of addiction, could be enough to do just that, deter you from looking at porn. Even when you have been free from looking at porn for awhile you still need to make your computer safe, for in your pride you’ll think you’re strong enough until your mental armor wears thin and you give into the temptation again. So here are some tips.

1. My number one recommendation would be to get an internet filter with an accountability feature. Out of all the programs out there I would recommend a program called Covenant Eyes. Don’t let the name confuse you, this is simple a robust internet filter with monitoring and reporting capability. The big deterrent is that you have an accountability partner who receives a weekly report showing all the web sites you have visited. This software also notifies your accountability partner when you uninstall the software. This can really curb a porn addiction.

2. If you have administrator rights on the computer then it might be a good idea to have a more restricted account. For example, my wife has the password to the administrator account and I have a restricted account. This just means I can’t add or remove programs such as the monitoring software.

3. If you don’t like having a restricted account then you could just share half of the password with someone for the administrator account so you’re only on the web when someone is around.

4. All this physical restrictions are great ideas but it would also be a good idea to just set some realistic personal boundaries you know you could live by. For example, deciding not to be on the internet after 9pm. This helps in a couple of ways. First, the more tired you are the more weaker you feel and the more likely you are to give into the temptation of porn. So you could decide to only spend so many hours on the web a day, or only be on the web when someone is around or when you’re in a public place like a book store. Any personal boundaries you think might help are great. They are personal and yours so don’t let what others say or think about them bother you.

5. Lastly, if you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work and you continue to look at porn then it may be time to make a big sacrifice for the sake of saving your character from eventual complete deterioration. You may have to get rid of the internet all together or restrict access to very  limited occasions. This is certainly not easy in today’s world and that would be a well thought out decision. Just remember, nothing is more important than self-mastery and it takes a lot of strength to make tough decisions like this.

 Popular Post –>Top Ten Books that have Helped me Overcome Addiction

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3 Steps to Overcome Porn

Helps with:

  • Porn Addiction
  • Masturbation Addiction
  • Sexual Addiction
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94 thoughts on “How to Stop Looking at Porn on the Computer

  1. Thanks for your website, its really helpful, i d like to know if you can send information about this to someone i know for sure is having a porn addiction but he doesnt know that I know. he needs help.
    Thanks again.

  2. My Name is Ann I have been married for 22 years. My husband has been addicted to porn our entire marriage. From the first time we got married I would fined magazines and he would often call hot lines to engage in this fantasy. Now it’s the internet. He really doesn’t want to stop. He is happy with this life and says he loves me. I feel like he is having an affair. I also feel I have a troubled marriage and I want out. I am hurt and feel alone. What can i do? Is there a help support group for wifes. Ann

    • Hi Ann,

      I don’t know where you live but you should try to contact Living Waters Ministries. I know they exist in the US, Canada and Australia. They might be known as Desert Stream Ministries in the US though, I’m not really sure. But I know that they run a group for women going through the same problem as yours.

  3. Hi, I have come to the realization that i have a porn addiction. I used to think it was no big deal, that it was normal. How wrong I was. It desensitizes you and you have to look at harder and harder stuff to get off. Its horrible. I am now looking at stuff that has no bearing on what turns me on and what I am attracted to in reality. I am 100% hetrosexual and am secure in that but, and I know this sounds contradictory, I am looking at homosexual material (as well as hardcore hetero material) because it is full on. The strange thing is I have never been attracted to men but yet here this is. I also look at hardcore hetero stuff and I just feel like I am slowly but surely substituting this strange artificial netherworld for a healthy perception of sex and real time, real world appication of that. I will apply what you have put on here but any advice would be a god send.

    Cheers,

    James

  4. Just came across your page here(not literally, thank God! Don’t wanna ruin my computer!)and I find it very liberating.I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and I’ve also been addicted to masturbation for years. Now, with the advent of the internet it’s starting to get out of hand. I am a good person but, like many of your commentators here, I keep looking at really sick stuff on the net here to get my kicks. Can’t even remember the last time I masturbated without net porn at this stage. Anyways it’s really become a problem now and I need to stop. I get depressed easily and I’m never satisfied. Fnd it hard to interact socially sometimes a well because of the internal shame I feel and the paranoia. Well I think I have made the first step tonight and admitted to myself that I have a problem. There ought to be a 12 step program for Wankers out there eh?? Anyway I’m gonna really try now. I want to live a decent life from here on in. I’ve got so much going for me, a beautiful girlfriend, a good job and prospects in entertainment too. Thanks for the site and all the tips. Good, as ever, to know I’m not the only one.

  5. The comment below sounds like it could be my ex-boyfriend Jim, Regardless, it fits him based on what I know. I love him so much and know that this dark side of him has ruined our future together because he let his porn addiction control him and he made me feel that he didn’t love me because we had nver fully consumated our relationship of a year. I am still so in love with the “wonderful loving man” I knew and I am having a hard time letting go even though we are not communicating for the past two days. Someone hacked into his emails and posted so awful photos of him and text like it was Jim writing to someone and it shocked the hell out of me. I thought he only liked looking at older women’s boobs which I accepted. I don’t know what to do. I am a loving kind caring woman who wants to reach out and help people and I triend to reach out to James many times, but he was always in denial and wouldn’t talk about it. I would love for us to get back together and I want to help him so much, but he has accused me of posting the photos etc. I would never do such a thing, but he assumes it was me and I can’t change that. I wish he would read this blog and seek to get professional help. I am willing to help him overcome his porn addiction, but he needs to ask for help and admit everything.
    I do not love the darkside of him and his porn addiction and how deep he has become in it, but I do so much love the good side of him, the man I knew to be loving, kind, caring. I feel like I am dying inside.

    Here is the comment a person left on your blog that fits my ex-boyfriend’s situation to a “T”. Any help would be great. If this person named James who left the comment on this blog and it is the James in UK I know, please know that I am here to help you get through all this please. I do love you so much baby.

    *******************START OF QUOTE
    James said,

    February 4, 2008 at 9:28 am

    Hi, I have come to the realization that i have a porn addiction. I used to think it was no big deal, that it was normal. How wrong I was. It desensitizes you and you have to look at harder and harder stuff to get off. Its horrible. I am now looking at stuff that has no bearing on what turns me on and what I am attracted to in reality. I am 100% hetrosexual and am secure in that but, and I know this sounds contradictory, I am looking at homosexual material (as well as hardcore hetero material) because it is full on. The strange thing is I have never been attracted to men but yet here this is. I also look at hardcore hetero stuff and I just feel like I am slowly but surely substituting this strange artificial netherworld for a healthy perception of sex and real time, real world appication of that. I will apply what you have put on here but any advice would be a god send.

    Cheers,

    James”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"END OF QUOTE

  6. thank you, this really helped, another suggestion i found helpful was to think of someone you love that would be completely devestated by your actions.

  7. I really don’t know where to turn my husband is addicted to pornography and it is slowly but surely becoming hard-core and frightening for me. We have just got back together after 5 months apart and also after counselling and I foolishly thought he was ‘working’ on his addiction to porn as it has affected our 10 year relationship drastically.I had it out with him AGAIN today and tried to explain to him that I would do my utmost to support him if he would seek professional help. I am fearful that his addiction will be a downward spiral for him but I know in my heart I will become mentally sick if I stay with him under the present circumstances. How can I help him? He tells me I make him feel like a naughty schoolboy! He is totally missing the point! or chooses not to admit he has a problem. Help me please to help him.

  8. Hi, my name is wally and I am pretty sure I am addicted to porn. I got into my first serious relationship about a year and two months ago. My girlfriend knows about my issue and she made it very clear that she did not like it. I have since tried very hard to stop looking at the stuff. I am happy to say that I have not looked at porn for maybe about ten months or so but I keep trying to look for substitutes. I felt as though I have made some kind of progress but every now and again I find myself slipping and trying to look at things that, while they are not porn, are basically just as bad as porn, at least in my eyes and my girlfriend’s eyes. she asks me when the last time I looked at the stuff every few months and, not being able to lie to her, I tell her the truth and she gets pissed off at me. I really dont want this coming between us any more, its starting to piss me off and I feel as though it is straining our relationship somewhat. Please send me any advice that you have.

    • Hi Wally, I share a lot of the same patterns and thoughts described by you. There is something that I have just came to realize in the last few minutes. I have always defended masturbation. I thought that it was healthier than building up so much sexual tension that you may be tempted to get sex from someone you shouldn’t such as having an affair, or prostitutes etc…As I sit here, I have came to realize, that masturbation is the underlying problem. As long as you think it is ok to masturbate, porn will eventually follow to provide the stimulation needed to get off. And of course as many have said, the porn will get more deviant over time to provide that stimulation. I am making a decision right now to stop masturbating period. I live away from my wife right now, so that is a very tough decision but one that I need to make none the less. To think that I can masturbate and not end up back on porn sites is just deceiving myself. Thanks for these discussions because it has caused me to think deeply about the addiction and how to break it. I hope that some of you join me in that decision. I will wait to be with my wife again instead of masturbating. This will be out of respect for me and her.

  9. Hello,

    My name is Ben and I really know what all the people above have talked about. I am 25 and have been looking at porn since I was 13 sponsored by my mother because I was seriously sexually abused by my father and she wanted to veer me back towards a heterosexual state (it worked by the way). But, the result is that I have delt with something that I never really thought was a big deal: an on-and-off Porn Addiction. It is amazing how hard it is to just stop, how many times I have thrown away magazines (only to replenish them), fried DVDs, erased hard drives of literally HUNDREDS of gigs of porn. It is only over the last year, through a serious relationship with a girlfriend that made me realize I really held her and porn as equals (even though the sex was physically better, I still WANTED porn more! – craziness) We’ve since broken up and I have tried every thing I can think of to stop letting this addiction rob me of good sleep, confidence, and closeness to myself as well as a future new girlfriend and life in general! I will struggle on, and I will absolutely win, but it is amazingly hard to quit both masturbating and looking at porn. So far replacement of reading really interesting books and getting active with work, a gym membership and a social life have really helped inch my way there. It really helps that I have a supportive family too! So good luck to all of you who have the courage to try and heal those screwed up brain patterns, reclaim yourself, and move on with your lives! You have my utter admiration. Thanks.

  10. I’m a 19 year old college student and i’ve been addicted to porn…quite a long time now… I really do appreciate for the idea of not visiting the internet after a certain hour at night or even in the evening, i haven’t really thought about it.
    However, seing an attractive girl even on the news can trigger my temptation. For example, I was watching a music clip on youtube and before i had time to exit, some hot chick pops out in a bikini. The point is that you keep watching something like this and you end up in porn !!!

    I think that alleviating these daily “feministic” sceneries is inevitable and futile. Internet filters,physical restrictions…i mean come on what about television, posters, magazines, newspapers ! Our focus should be totally on self-control and awareness of these kind of thoughts.
    Wow…this is scary.

  11. I have ended my relationship with my boyfriend of nearly two years because of his addiction to internet porn. I tried to stay by his side if he admitted his wrong doings and saught help. Let me tell you, the toughest part of his addiction were all the lies that came with it and his inability to be vulnerable to me. He became very desensitized and unable to fully love me. I know he wanted to love me, but I strongly believe his addiction to porn and masturbation and fantasy became his own reality. He could no longer connect with me. I miss him terribly and wish him to get better and stay “sober” for the sake of him. Nothing good comes from this and will eventually destroy all relationships. I love you Nick and I always will.

  12. my name is chris and i have been a hadcore porn addict since i was 12, now more than ever i find it really hard to stop,i was raised in a christian home and my dad and my mom both taught me how rong it was and i still didnt care, and then porn led to masturbation and then i realized i screwed myself over, now trying to stop is the hardest thing, i didnt leave an e-mail address so sorry.thanks, god bless your work and i am praying for everyone with the same problem.!.!just remember that God is reall so all of u who have tried everything try giving your life to christ because even though i knew who God was i didnt know him . now i have given my life to christ and he is delivering me more and more everyday . god ist going to take the addiction away at the exact moment you ask christ into your heart it will take time. because you need self-control and diligence , and faith.

  13. Hello.
    My heart goes out to all those trying to get a handle over this terrible addiction. I can completely empathize with you. I found my first porn mag at the age of 13 just lying on the side of the street and the rest is history. I’m 35 now and can’t believe I’ve gone this long with this stupid addiction. The most I’ve gone without it in the last 22 years is 1 month. 1 MONTH! I’ve realized that you have to completely push it out of your head altogether. I usually ask God to pluck the thought from my mind before it has a chance to root. I’m not going to let this own me anymore. I’ve stopped for 2 weeks now. However, it’s very very difficult to overcome in the sexual-oriented society we live in today. If it’s not some 13 year old dressing like a porn star at the Wal Mart, it’s something as simple as Fox News and the banners they advertise with scantily clad girls. I’m sick of it. I can’t change the world, but I damn sure can change how I react to it. If you’re trying to quit, or have quit, Good luck and God bless all of you.

  14. Hi, my name is Dennis and I can relate to everyone who has posted here. I am a recovering alcoholic,clean for 19 years. I am living the american dream,nice house with property,beautiful wife,all the big boy toys and a job where I work about 8 monthes out of the year.I am 48 years old and I pride myself as being strong willed and if your not happy with any aspect of your life then simply change it.I have been with my wife for 10 years now and about 3 years into our marriage we got our first computer. In the beginning the porn was fun and my wife knew about it and since it has grown into this monster that has taken over my life. I have tried to stop countless times and it is more difficult than any non addict can imagine. I love my wife very much and this is killing her inside. The longest I’ve gone without porn in the last 7 years is 10 days.Pretty disturbing! I receive my work orders by email or I would not have a computer.I went through an extensive rehab program for alcoholism at a very nice facility and I could teach the 12 step program with the best of them.This addiction is robbing me of everything I have worked so hard to achieve. I avoid physical contact with my wife,we have had sex maybe 5 times in the last year. I have lost my zest for life.I have overcome more adversity than any 10 men but this is by far my greatest challenge. I know the old me is still in there somewhere and I will find him,I know my wife will be glad to see him,by the way who has been supportive and understanding. And to all the wives and girlfriends out there believe me this is not something we choose to do no matter how much you think it is.It is the most bizzare,discusting,self degrading,lonely way of life I have ever known. I will continue to fight for my self worth and self respect back and for my beautiful wife who doesn’t deserve any of this. I have read several posts from wives who have given up and left, I feel sorry for the men they left, to be addicted to this hell and be alone, I can’t imagine.I will never give up until I am free. I WILL WIN!!!!!

    • Dennis’s story is pretty well mine too…recovering from booze…stopped with help mof 12step prog….stopped going to meetings after about 12years…..now find myself mired in pornography….same feelings of disgust with myself….I’m so relieved though to find this site and hoping this new addiction can be fought…I know it can be fought…and ironically know what I have to do…thanks Dennis

  15. Hi,

    I’m 23 and have been addicted to porn and masturbation for 7 years, on-again off-again. I resolved to quit 18 days ago and have been free of it. Yesterday out of boredom I looked at female models pictures and today I was looking at porn. I’m ashamed, I have to prevent myself from being in this constellation: bored, at home, sitting in front of the computer.

    I know alot of guys do this without admitting it, I suspect almost all guys do this but some just keep it more in control than others. Well, not me anymore, Im done with it. This is no way to live and it keeps me in isolation and feeling dirty and weird.

  16. Hi I am 31 and started masturbating when I was 15 and never looked back since. I started looking at porn when I was about 20 and my life has now spiralled out of control thanks to internet porn.

    I come from a very strong christian background but I am now totally ashamed of my life style and totally withdrawn from living a happy normal life. I even find it hard to form a good relationship.

    I have decided to quit porn and straighten myself out tonite and I was looking at a few website and came across this one.
    Thanks for the professional advice here and all those who have shared.

    By God’s grace, I will overcome and live a normal life here on!

    God help me!!

  17. My name is Ted,
    I am an internet porn addict. I am going to get married in about four months and I desperately want to end my addiction to pornography or deal with it some how. Maybe I am just a recovering pornography addict. Anyway, I can only quit for a few days at a time. If I’m not bored, I’m stressed, if I’m not alone, I’ll find a way. It’s really sad and I can’t stop!! The problem with Filters is that I don’t have a computer that I can install one on. I co-own a computer with my roomate. I don’t think I’m smart enough to set one up with out causing problems that my roommate wouldn’t notice.

  18. Reading this page made me realize how so many other people are/were in the same position that I am in. I am a porn addict. I go back and forth with myself thinking that it’s a problem and then just shrugging it off. I have a loving girlfriend of over 8 months and I want to fully focus on her and start my career off on the right track (just graduated college a week ago). I don’t know if it’s because of porn or not but I realize I have really retreated from many of my friendships and social relationships of late, and that I have not been the best boyfriend. Socially I am ashamed, once again I’m not sure if this is because of porn or not, but I have a feeling it is. Today is the first day and time to take the first steps. I hope to come back and read this to hold myself accountable. I’m sure I will stumble on my path, but I know with Christ’s help I can do this!

  19. Just this week I’ve FINALLY realized I’ve had an addiction to porn of which I’ve suffered from for about 23 years. First it was the magazines and movies and later the use of the internet. The easy access that online fantasies provide made it easy for me to make my porn adventures a daily habit and in turn I became even more consumed by their poison. I’ve never ‘spoken’ of this private affair before. Incredibly, what broke my former mindset was seeing that my two long term favorite adult models, Erica Campbell and Crissy Moran, BOTH abruptly quit the industry after being called on by Christ. Their Christian testimonials are both so beautiful that it woke me up and brought me to tears. It is as if God took these two young ladies, turned them toward me, and said “Please stop !” This has also made me realize just what the porn industry does to the women we once viewed and lusted after. I now CANNOT see women in the same light I once did. My heart pours out to all us who are damaged by the industry that viewers and promoters have allowed to be all encompassing. I am now taking responsibility for my addiction. I am also asking, “What can we do to save these girls ?”, “What can we do to help men like myself ?”, and “Are we really acting as fellow men when we abuse the likeness of these women through the use of porn ?” Think about it. The human mind can overcome a great deal. God has installed in us the abilities we need. However, we often need help in tapping into those areas. Web sites like this are a great start. Also, for those who will believe….what man cannot do….God can.

  20. I have a problem with porn addiction and it’s ruining my marriage. My wife said to me that it feels like I’m cheating on her, but I’ve tried to make it seem like she’s being stupid for having these feelings. She’s not stupid, I on the other hand am for trying to downplay her feelings, not listen to her legitmate complaints and tell her that I have the right to do what I want because ” I’m a man”.
    We have a great relationship otherwise and I just can’t seem to let this go. 90% of our problems come from this one aspect of my behaviour and it’s led to countless arguments where I try to justify my actions or make empty promises only to break them as soon as her back is turned. Wow, I just realized how much of a liar I’ve been because I don’t want to let this go. If the shoe was on the foot would I have been as tolerant and understanding as she’s been for me? I know I can only take it one day at a time, but your site has helped me to understand that this isn’t going to just go away without me facing my own demons and admitting to myself that while I may gain short term satisfaction that in the long run , if this continues I’ll be losing my wife ( together 19 yrs).

  21. Whether we know it or not, we are standing together, fighting side by side. We are truly at war and what we perceive as our own individual struggle against the forces that are trying to rob us of our very Humanity, is infact a battle we are fighting not just for ourselves and our personal lives but for Humanity. These challenges will only become greater and darker for those that follow, but our fight will make a difference. These addictions that make us feel like complete shit about ourselves are very real forces, forces that are working very hard to ruin the human being. Imagine a world where everyone feels isolated, alone and ashamed in themselves, where real human interaction and connection is all but forgotten. Well this is a very real and alive intention existing in the world today. It is an intention that can slip into us without our awareness and through something like an internet addiction receive our cooperation and support. I am sorry to make it sound worse then you might already experience it but to think of it and perceive it in such terms has also helped me. I cannot say I am a fully committed soldier or knight yet but I am beginning my trainning. Thank you all for sharing and fighting this incredible battle.

  22. Yo
    Iv been looking at porn since I was 12, i am now 17. I know what I have to do! I have to stop. The best time of my life was when I didn’t have a home and so couldn’t look at porn, so in two weeks I spoke to loadsa girls and got to know them. I want to re-live those two weeks because although I only try to whack off twice a week I ultimately look at porn. Im gonna stop. because it doesn’t compare to the real thing (craziness though – still crave porn) Im gonna go cold turkey and kill the internet i think. It makes me depressed afterwards cos I just look at the screen like ‘jeez man, once again’

    I will clear my mind…. I will clear my mind… I will clear my mind

  23. Very honest and believable testimonials here. My heart goes out to everyone. Thank God, myself, or whatever other higher power led me to this site. I’m Ben, and like many others that have posted here, I’ve had this problem for many years, try 40. How was it that I would be so unfortunate to find a “nudist” magazine in an alley trash can 40 years ago. I was masturbating at a very early age, 6. It didn’t help when my Uncle (at the time was 15 or 16 and was sexually active) described the act of coitus to me, I was abused physically by him as well. I don’t judge him or hate him, just wish we’d never been in that situation. The sixties…yeah, free love gone haywire. As an early teen I had access to even more explicit magazines, at 16 a promiscuous 3rd cousin lured me into first fruit(got caught in the act by my mother no less!), lots of sex partners in HS, prostitutes while in the service overseas, first marriage to a swinger, enough!

    Somehow I’ve managed to survive a second marriage for 10 years now because I have a daughter to anchor me, but the addiction is still there, with a marijuana sidekick as bonus. What’s deceiving is that I’ve held a great job, have a nice home, etc., etc.

    I now have a determination and a plan to stop this once and for all. I will need lots of help obviously. I didn’t realize though that certain anti-depressants may be helpful. I get really depressed when trying to quit pot, based on things I’ve learned from this site though I think I know what to do now.

    The masturbation, endulgence in porn has gone on way too long. It’s time I change the outlook for the second half of my life. I have to comment though that I don’t think men should blame porn entirely for not being attracted to a significant other that ignores a weight problem. I may cure my addiction, but I’ll not be so naive as to say I can will my way into being attracted to obesity, cellulite, and other issues that go with that body type.

    Cheers!

  24. Thanks to everyone who has posted on this page. After having a secret internet porn addiction of over 10 years, my girlfriend and partner of more than 6 years just discovered me looking at porn on the computer this afternoon. The outcome of this has tremendous repercussions on our relationship as she is not one who gets off on any pornographic material and I have kept it a secret from her during our entire relationship. I have gone back and forth during this 10 year period normalizing my behavior and telling myself I have a problem that I need to address. However, I always came back to finding excuses for my actions. Now I’m uncertain as to whether or not she will be able to trust me ever again. I want to focus on kicking this addiction because I’ve experienced a lot of the symptoms described here and I know how I’ve been adversely effected. However, I feel I need to find an impartial 3rd party to help me as this is the first time I’m admitting this to anyone and am not ready to divulge this to my friends and loved ones.

  25. I have been a porn and masterbation addict for a while now. It has progressed in stages, in middle school I used to look at simple stuff like sears magazines. Then in high school I started looking at pictures of women in swimsuits on the internet. In college, away from home, it went downhill fast, I started watching videos online.

    Some of the things I’ve watched now are so unnatural and twisted, I would’ve never thought I would watch them 10, no 5, heck even 2 years ago. If you think you can control you can’t, you just start wanting more and weirder stuff. I’ve never really been happy in my life for years now, I quit going to church, I haven’t had a girlfriend since sophomore year college (I’m now 24), things I used to do I don’t do, and I’ve come to realize much of this can be attributed to my addiction with porn. I have felt so ashamed and guilty and dirty.

    I am now trying my hardest to quit, to seperate myself from sin that seperates me form God and others. But I can’t do it on my own, I know I need God to help me. To everyone else out there, don’t give up, it’s not hopeless, trust in God.

  26. I am an addict.
    I take responsibility for this addiction.
    It is mine, and mine alone. No more blaming this addiction on my uncles addictions, my fathers addictions, my mom’s, or any body’s but mine.
    It is my character flaw, my escape, my liability, and will be my downfall if not curbed.
    Having said all of that, and having had a porn addiction since the ’60s, I feel the following may help others and myself:
    1. The people producing this content are in business. Not an upstanding, make the world better business. Just the opposite if you consider it carefully.
    2. The content gets racier and racier as the business loses customers due to “jadeation” and numbness that comes with repeated exposure. Talk to any ex-New York Cop.
    3. This business grew out of the first publication, on the first press, in the first communication company. But it is not a communication flaw. I agree that this content is protected under the bill of rights And we also are protected under this same bill.
    4. Real sex. Real porn. Real intimacy with a lover, friend, or acquaintance is so much more satisfying than I.P. could ever be.
    5. The government of the US vacillates on this issue. $$ vs Morals. Tough call. The first “porn” didn’t even show nipples. Then pubic hair only, then … You get the idea. If $$ > Morals, laws are relaxed.
    6. Experience has taught me: “What goes around, comes around”
    7. I am constantly shocked in retrospect at what is on “my” computer.
    8. Have you ever fallen into deep slumber in the arms of your PC? Satisfied? I never have.
    9. I am stricken by how much pain I have caused. My partner, my children, my siblings, my co-workers, my pastor, myself. I have been “caught” by someone in every one of these groups. No more. The solution is clear.
    10. I vow, today, after finding this article bookmarked on my partner’s PC:
    I WILL LET GO, AND LET GOD.

    Lee

  27. It is a relief to read everyone’s comments here because it shows me clearly that I was never alone with my attachments to pornography. I never really took it seriously. During the majority of my teens until now at age 22 I have been directing my sexual energy into fantasies that only isolate me emotionally. I have difficulties nurturing human relationships, especially with women. My eyes are open today. Today I see the problem I have not only kept secret from others, but especially from myself. I denied my addiction and told myself it wasn’t real, even though deep inside I felt ashamed and depressed from masturbating so excessively to pornography.

    It’s time to change. I realize that my body and my mind will need that time to recover and resensitize to the warm and loving bond that makes sex with another person so wonderful. After say about seven years of indulging in sexual fantasies that were not even really my own, I need to let go and simply begin discovering my natural sex drive, my own sexual dreams and desires. A big thank you to the person hosting this site as without him I would never have come to this important realization tonight.

    To everyone else struggling, don’t struggle, don’t fight.
    Accept your pain that has come with all of this, and acknowledge it. Make peace with it, and then let it go..

    Namaste!

  28. I would like to thank all of you who took the time to post your stories have helped me realize the extent of my addiction. I always fooled myself that masturbation and porn was just a normal thing males do. How wrong I was! I am typical started young we didn’t have easy access so I resorted to anything I could get my hands on. When the internet hit it made my addiction even worse. I have been a porn addict for 20 years and it is a part of my daily life. I probably have never gone 1 week without in all my years of addiction. It got to the point where I would plan my days around an opportunity to be home alone at my computer. How sad. I am successful, have a gorgeous wife, excellent job, people who know me at work or socially think I am this outgoing personable guy with self confidence when I am actually embarrassed, ashamed and want to crawl away somewhere by myself. My wife often accuses me of withdrawing into my own little world and now I understand why, she deserves so much better. Recently I had an affair that I take total responsibility for and amazingly she took me back. I really think that porn contributed as my own reality just wasn’t enough because of this fantasy world. I can’t believe I actually posted here as I am not the type to voice my problems or issues (even to my wife) and rarely want to hear about others but this page has opened my eyes. I hope this is the first step to winning this stupid battle. I am going to tell my wife tonight that I need her help, I hope she can handle one more bomb. Good luck to you all.

  29. I would really like to thank the person who has been writing this blog about porn addiction, and how to become unnadicted. I have been addicted to porn for about two years now. It started out almost immediately after I bought myself a new mac mini. For many years I had had an interest in girls and breasts. I was always staring at the breasts of any attractive female I saw, Anyways, 20 minutes ago, after having another round(You all know what I’m talking about obviously), I realized to the full extent, that I really am sick. Sick. Not nasty sick. Sick. I have what I see as a disease. It has to stop. So I looked for sites that would give help on overcoming this addiction. I’ve only read it for about 20 minutes, and it has given me all the strength, and drive I need to overcome this by myself, and I WILL.

    I now have a statement for my intentions: I Lucas Kanan, vow that today, Fri August 15th, 2008, at 2:11 in the morning, that I will never look at pornography on the net again. I will find more awarding things in life, and will stick to them, and never look back. God hold me to this vow.

    Thankyou so much to the newlifehabits people who have given me the new inspiration and hope to make my life better and rid myself of this life destroying substance. To all of you, who like me are addicted, I wish you the best of luck in becoming unnadicted yourselves. As the quakers say “I hold you in the light of God”. To those of you who are reading this and are not addicted to pornography, DON’T GO THERE!!!! EVER!!!!

    Here is a quote from someone very dear to me, who has helped me with others problems I had previously aside from my porn addiction. Maybe it will be inspirational to some of you. “You must take your life in your own hands.” Unanimous

  30. hi !

    i am mahesh , 24 yrs old. i’v been a compulsive sex addict since i turned 14. it has been a terrible experience. i went through all the stages you discussed. i tried every possible self restraint method , but it all failed. came across your blog today when i was searching for some help , desperately. i had to drop out of high school due to this addiction , though my parents know not the real reason behind it. it is a real sick feeling that i’v about myself. i’v gone to the extreme of contemplating suicide to end this trauma. still am helpless.
    your method of self control by using diverting thoughts appears good. will try it out . thanks a lot for all your articles .

  31. This site is great. I’m in my early twenties and as many on here, have struggled with pornography and masturbation online. I think it might be accurate to say my generation is the first that has had access to internet porn for as long as they would want to look at it. I suspect like most guys, I have been caught a few times, struggled with quitting, failing, and i even attempted to broach the subject once. I have been told, and hid behind the excuse of raging hormones, self-discovery, interest, etc. but when you feel the way porn addiction makes you feel you know that it IS a problem. I’ve tried to quit before and always fell back. I slid the slippery slope into more and more explicit content. I even had episodes where i felt especially detached, aware that even the porn wasn’t doing it for me and that I was going through the motions. I just needed that change in brain chemistry so badly. It’s pretty hard to deny that’s an addiction. Most importantly I have a long term loving girlfriend who i live with…and although she has never acknowledged the problem I have to think she is aware of it.

    about a week ago I started to feel like a COULD quit, not like I had to quit. Instead of the shameful desperation I felt an inkling of hope. I don’t know why that was. I discovered this site and read a few of the articles and the comments. There is a lot of heartache on this blog. I find most painful the comments from wives, girlfriends, and daughters. I never want my girlfriend to feel that way about me, and I never want her to experience any side of this poison in my life. I know I can do this, and I want to leave her out. I know that is probably wrong but I can’t bear to hurt her, even if it means more pain and failure for me. I know i can do it, even if it means going it alone.

    The last week is the first time in a long time that I have felt like I have a sliver of control and that brings hope. I pray that everyone here can find that ray of hope that I was so lucky to stumble across. I have tried hard, and already had multiple setbacks. It isn’t easy, but it is getting a little less hard. Even now I sit home, alone, at the computer and just days ago I would be doing something very different from typing this. This blog provides a wealth of material to read and an opportunity to vent and let it out when I don’t feel that I have anyone I can let it out to without causing pain. The innocents don’t deserve the collateral damage.

    I would add good luck to everyone struggling here, but I won’t. I wish you all strength. You don’t need luck, you need the will, and i hope you all find it. I think I have and I look forward to the hard, no doubt long, road ahead.

  32. Wow, I am glad I found this site. I grew up in the church, am involved in the church and believe God has called me to full time ministry. Oh yeah and I have been addicted to masturbation and pornography off and on for years. I am married to a wonderful wife, and many people have said that we are the perfect couple. She does not know about my addiction. I guess it started at a friends house in preteen yeats. Than once in a while I would look at rated R movies or porn. those symptoms of an addict ssurprised me. I can see those in myself from time to time. I prayed this evening for God to help me and I believe he lead me to this site. Satan attacks me whenever I gain a higher level of relationship with God. I believe he is attacking me again because of my willingness to submit to the will of God. Brothers, we know we can beat this thing, our weakness, because God is strong when we are weak. Just like exercising, we have to maintain self control, and have an accountability partner. The covenant eyes website made me think, well, yeah that would stop it. However I think a few websites might be discovered. I believe that is what held me from getting the program. I have an accountability partner and a relationship with GOd. Pray for each other and remember that Jesus payed the atonement for our sin on the cross, WE NOW CAN BE VICTORIOUS FROM OUR SIN. The bible says that God blesses those who confess and forsake their sins. That forsake Part is important. I am no longer going to be online after 9 pm, and I am no longer going to be on any computer that is not out in the open. Mahy God bless and guide you all.

  33. I am not the type of person to post on these type of things, especially admitting a problem. But, what the hell…

    For years and years, I have fooled myself into thinking that my porn addiction was not a big deal. I have always been able to go out and have relationships, and a good social life. In my group of friends, it is not uncommon to talk about porn and make jokes. We’re an uncensored crew and it’s fun, and it has removed any “closet” aspect in my mind. Additionally, my wife used to be a “dancer” in college (now 35) and is pretty open-minded. We don’t have many secrets, and I had told early on in our relationship that i look at porn. In a semi-joking way, I even told her sometimes i even disgust myself at the hours i lost — she didn’t seem to mind and we have always had a great sex life. I have even been able to convince myself that porn is semi-”healthy”. It “helps me keep my sex drive up” and “learn new techniques”. But the truth is, none of that is true, and I know it…

    The thing that has been most eye-opening to me about this post is the honesty of people who have discussed the search for harder and more kinky stuff to keep them stimulated. I do the exact same thing. When I have a porn “bender”, I fall in a semi-zombie mode for hours and over the years, it has lead me through several of the different kinky “worlds” out there. My wife and I just had our first kid. Recently, she was on my computer and looked at the “history” and found porn. I don’t think she would have even minded if she found some pictures like in a playboy, or even VHS porn. What she found were several clips of hardcore porn. There are no words to properly explain the seperation between what attracts you in “porn world” and what attracts you in “real world” and the bizarre kinky slippery slope effect of free internet porn. But rewatching the clips though her eyes made me flat disgusted in myself. Worse yet, my wife didn’t smear me over this they way she could have. But in a way, I’m glad it happened. I need to finally step-up to the fact that porn is unhealthy to my life. It wastes shitloads of my time, and it drags me to really dark places. For the first time in my life I’m admitting its a problem and I want to stop!

  34. Hey, my name is Joe and I’m 22. I’ve been addicted to masturbation since I was about 12 years old. There are times when I break the cycle every now and then, but I masturbate at least twice a day, every day. It’s the only thing that was ever fully mine and the only thing that ever seemed to make me happy, but now it’s making me absolutely miserable. It’s how I deal with my stress, but I’ve grown very mentally and emotionally isolated over the years, because of it. Not only was I addicted to the chemicals released in my brain during orgasm, but also just the mental and physical rush of being turned on and fantasizing. I also am addicted to pornography.

    I live with my grandparents and frequently view very extreme forms of internet pornography on their computer, to get off, and have become quite proficient at it. I’ve never admitted my addiction to anybody and go to great lengths to ensure I have personal time with the computer. (Which is in the family room, mind you.) The materials I view would probably get me kicked out and shunned by my family or any one of my loved ones, if I was ever discovered. I can no longer bear the guilt this addiction has always brought upon me and the ways it effects my self image. I’m otherwise a very intellectual, honest, handsome individual with a great personality and a lot to offer. But this secret constantly weighing in the back of my mind has caused me a lot of pain and missed opportunities to make truthful connections with the people I love.

    I barely lost my virginity just last year. I had a great fear of intimacy, due to my physical and emotional insecurities, throughout my entire adolescence. I’d never so much as kissed a girl. But I have a very high sex drive, which is why I resorted to masturbation and could never seem to stop. And even though I still regularly sleep with the girl I lost my virginity to (who I love dearly). I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but it feels good to vent. This website’s very supportive and one of the best websites of its kind that I’ve come across. Just writing this gives me the strength to try and put an end to my addiction, altogether. I’m dedicated to try and improve my life and my sense of self worth.

  35. Thank you all for posting your comments.
    I am glad I am not alone in this problem. I have been addicted to porn since the age of 14. I am now 23 years old and still indulge in this nasty, evil ha it.
    Pornography and masturbation is really from the devil. Every night, I feel the urge to be alone with my computer browsing pron websites and masturbating. These images get stuck in my head and I end up watching them again on a regular basis.
    I need serious help, dont know where else to trun to. I have tried to put a STOP to this deadly habit on several occassions, but I see myself masturbating to pornography again and again. The longest I have tried to stay off this habit is probably 2 weeks. I feel there are demons in my room which always lead me into these temptations.
    I am really happy I have found this site as I can empathise with people in the same situation. I must put an end to this and by the grace of the Almighty God, I will. This abit will only ruin your life and the life of those close to you.
    To those who are fighting this addiction, don’t give up hope, stand strong, this is a spiritual battle against the Devil and his forces and I know you will conquer in Jesus’ name

  36. I have been using porn since I was about 14. I’m now 30 and I never stopped. It started when I found my dad’s porn stash, he had talked about it so one day when I was home alone I searched for it and it was actually pretty easy to find. I even bought a couple of my own tapes from the local bodega and hid them under my bed. I was never really good with the girls, so porn became a quick and easy substitute for relationships. When I got older and the technology got better, I started buying dvd porn. I would go after work some nights to the adult store and drop 30 bucks on 1 – I have spent over a thousand dollars this way. Here’s the kicker, I would get disgusted with myself from time to time so I would scrap my whole collection, usually this would happen when I had a girlfriend and was having trouble being interested in real sex because of watching too much porn. Now I’m married and the problem recurs from time to time, I do have a handle on it sometimes but I realized this is caused by external factors, like not having the opportunity or free time to watch porn. It seems that I binge and purge, and with the internet I almost never have to pay for it and it is so easy to get new porn all the time. Whenever I do binge is usually when I have sexual problems with my wife. I do not want to bring her into the loop because I don’t want her to feel like she is not good enough for me, a reaction so many women have when their man is addicted to porn. The truth is, I absolutely love making love to my wife, the porn seems to be in the corner by itself, unrelated to how I feel for her or how attracted I am to her. Sometimes I will watch porn and masturbate shortly after sex, not because I was not satisfied, but because porn gives me a different feeling than real sex, not a better feeling, just different, perhaps more intense (having been addicted to cocaine in the past, the porn seems to make my brain feel a similar way, like I’m high, which is why my porn use spiked once I stopped the drugs). Now after reading this blog I think this addiction will be more manageable than I had foreseen. After many failed quit attempts, I used to make excuses for myself, like this is just a part of my sexuality and I should learn to live with it and not let it get out of control. This seemed logical because even after destroying my collection on numerous occasions, I would always start a new one and get even more excitement out of that — oddly I get more of a buzz sometimes downloading the porn than I do watching it, and much of my collection goes unwatched (I’m kind of like an internet-porn-packrat). And it always seems more exciting when I stop for awhile then start looking at seemingly harmless stuff (ie. non-nude models, softcore photos, etc) which leads into the hard stuff. But these thoughts only come to me when I feel ‘dirty’, that is when my sex drive is very high and the temptation to porn becomes much harder to resist. BTW what I have been doing lately in lieu of porn is coming to sites like these, I think it is good to do something constructive like this every time I have the urge, so now my window of opportunity to watch porn has passed as my son is awake and needs my attention. I want to thank the author of this site, I have found it very informative and inspirational. The whole time I was writing this I wanted to look at some women I’ve been thinking about, but I knew that was going to be a slippery slope so I kept writing. I know this is a long post, so I hope it’s okay if I come back here to write again when the urge comes back. Thank you for what you are doing

  37. I think I am addicited to porn. It started with magazine years ago. It’s now moved on to the internet, first pictures and now videos. I have a gorgeous girlfriend and have a great sex life with her. It’s beginning to effect our relationship where i see her as a sex object for my desires, and where I try to act out porn images. I have tried giving it up but I never manage to shake it. If i become depressed or even bored I end up coming back to it. I try to convince my self it’s only because my girlfriend is not here. She lives in another country. If I didn’t have a girlfriend it would be much worse. I think sometimes i stay in relationships because of the sex. I have even visited prostitutes. This is the worse experience, I feel disgusted afterwards and ashamed that I have come to this. A few months later I forget the bad experience and my mind convinces me how exciting it’s going to be and takes control of me and I give in to it. I know now from reading other peoples experiences I have to act now before it gets a real hold of me. I would like to thank all those people for posting your stories as it has convinced me to act today. I am not going to use the filter I think you have to make the decision not to use the internet for porn otherwise you will look for other ways of seeing it. When I get a bad thought or i am finding myself thinking about porn I stop myself and then think of pleasant things. Today I will start and I WILL WIN. Good luck to you all and God Bless.

  38. Thank you to all posters!
    I have just read every post on the page and just reading about the struggles of all of you has helped me. I too deal with the same issues and it feels so good right now to know i am not alone.

    I’m 19 years old and have been addicted to internet porn and masturbation for seven years now. It’s hard to believe how something like this even starts, when i masturbated for the first time i didn’t even know what happened, it just went off :) seven years later i can’t go a week without it. And the things that I look at just keep getting worse and worse, to the point where it’s shaming to even think about what I watch now.

    I’ve known that i am addicted for a while, i practice self-reflection continuously and am very blunt about my problems with myself. The thing is I would try to quit internet porn or weed (which i am also addicted to) and fail miserably after a while.

    The thing is I’ve been trying hard to quit again, to stop the feelings of shame and the fury i feel at myself for not being able to quit. Sometimes i think that I’m broken, that God forgot to add willpower when i was being created. I know the feelings of depression, of hating myself or trying to close the world out.

    To be honest, i was going to break. I got on my computer to look at porn but instead i was able to delay myself enough to find this site. Because i was looking for help and this site and all of you posters have given me the strength to not break and live to fight on.

    I can beat this, and all of you out there can beat this. Arm yourselves with everything you hold dear. Then fight to your last breath, as if your life was on the line, because it is! To give into this is to accept death, no part of this is living… and when I or you out there does have this horrible monster defeated show it no mercy and twist the blade until it’s dead.

    When its all over I will come back and post to show everyone that it can be overcome and maybe provide some hope. This post may sound harsh but desperate action must be taken and I will not lose this time! Thank you again to all the posters and the creator of this site.

  39. Once again i find myself looking at porn this evening….I have it all….a kind thoughtful, loving wife……2 great kids and a great job. On the outside to my peers i appear as if I am a happy secure successful guy ..but on the inside I feel completely out of control….This all started back in college when I started looking at sex online….and going to great lengths to seek out porn on lab computers and even masturbating in the rooms…

    I was always an active enough guy….i like going out, doing outdoor sports but when work finishes and the normal life stuff…chores,kids,more work…..it just becomes so easy to turn on the laptop…my wife goes to bed early and within minutes im looking for porn…..what initially moved from pictures and movies..led to webcams…more extreme behaviour and eventually cheating on my wife with prostitutes. I confessed all to her (which made me feel even worse now for dumping all my guilt on her) and she agreed to support me and love me…I attended counseling and it was great….and thought I was over it….but then i’m back at it again..

    Much like a comment above…I have trashed harddrives…..laptops….removed permissons….but i have also reinstalled OS’s and built PC’s just to look at porn. My work requires the internet at home….I live and breathe it in my work…otherwise i’d get rid of it.

    honestly i don’t know what the answer is…..but I will try harder…Tomorrow can be a new day…with a new start….

    I have tried before and relapsed…but I must always try again…because if i don’t I have lost….lost myself, my family…everything good in my life…If I am ashamed of who i am now, what would I think of myself if I could not even bother to try? What will i think if my kids found what I was doing….what kind of a person would they see me as?

    I will try again tomorrow…tomorrow is day zero…and in my notebook I will write the date and 2 letters PF…PornFree……One day at a time!

  40. To all those who posted their very private thoughts, feelings and difficult, and also devastating, experiences with porn, I empathize with you and I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you. For a guy to admit something like this is usually not the norm in our “most advanced” society/culture. But the deeper realities of emotional isolation, pain and psychological torture brings us to a point that gives us no choice to but to face it squarely, honestly…no more blaming someone else for our own deep-seated hurt, or greed, or vanity, or coldness.

    I’ve come to realize, especially after reading dozens of postings on this site, and personal experience, that ANY kind of porn (print, audio/video, internet, etc) is just the outside stuff….like junk or garbage that is in the environment. What seems more real to me is the unyielding, perpetual desire within me to attract the “garbage” toward myself… like a super magnet.

    So I think of this metaphor: during the week, my everyday lifestyle produces garbage. Boxes, cans, bottles, bits of food, etc. It’s collected in a trash can inside the house until it’s either full or there’s foul smell, then thrown out into the trash bin located outside the home. If I were to keep the trash inside my home for weeks, months or years, I would be labeled neurotic or psychotic (and more probably pass out from the foul smell within a few short weeks)!!

    If my family/friends would try to explain it to me that for my own health and comfort, I throw out the trash in a timely manner and I would say to them that I do try to throw it out, but it’s so difficult to let it go! I know it’s bad for me, effects my mental and physical health, but I simply can’t seem to get rid of it. Well, I’ll be told that the trash is only part of the problem (though it’s a natural decomposition, and by nature it exists like anything else in our world), but the core of the problem is me! The one that wants to hold on to the trash, the horrid smell, the unsightly clutter, etc.

    So if I’m beginning to realize that cause of the problem IS ME, then there’s obviously something (or several things), deep within my psyche, that wants to continue experiencing this drama, no matter how humiliating, no matter how much pain comes after the act. It could be something that may have happened while I was an infant, toddler, or later. Something I cannot recall now since it’s buried deep in my memory…and maybe that memory doesn’t want to surface because it could have been deeply painful/traumatic at the time it took place and I may re-experience that pain all over again. In other words I may have fear on top of the pain.

    If I try to work on the symptom (porn, alcohol, etc), i may still continue to crave the thing that I despise no matter how much I try to suppress my desire for it. I can’t heal the infection in my body by taking only Tylenol or Aspirin, for example. I have to see a doctor and take the proper remedy (antibiotics, natural herbs, etc) to get to the root of the problem.

    So my point is that what I’m realizing is in order to make realistic progress toward any kind of addiction (which is an inner belief that I must be dependent on something external to feel alive or be happy), I must look closely at two things:

    1. exactly what are the thoughts and feelings that exist right before, during, and immediately after the “act”?

    2. what experience(s) did I have during my early childhood years that is/are the source of me feeling the presence of addiction today (or feeling dependent or inadequate)?

    I must confess that this is not easy by any means. So many thoughts and feelings gush up during the reflection period, like fear, confusion and frustration. But I’ve also learned, over time and with patience, that it is me, my own depth, that is trying to hide from the light of truth. There’s something about me that’s basically scared about something. So little by little, I gently dig a bit deeper, while at the same time being nurturing and supportive to myself for doing this work. It’s important work and I should feel some sense of goodness for doing it.

    I’ve also realized that concentration meditation helps to gently “peel the layers on the onion” so to speak. Because of what I’m trying to do is to dig gently into my depths (and my past) with some focus, the positive effects of concentration meditation certainly makes that journey a bit easier.

    Finally, I have come to realize that what I’m really doing is seeking genuine goodness in myself through all of this. Hopefully this journey will allow the real, natural goodness that exists in me to exude out from my personality to those whom I come in contact with. I hope my own healing may be a spark to help others heal themselves from the core. So I believe this journey is not only about myself…but a journey of humanity itself.

    Be strong. be courageous. believe in yourself. love yourself. Seek God’s help. When one is on God’s side, forces of darkness lose.

  41. hello iam so happy i found this site i recently discovered i am an alocholic and upon closer examination of my life have found i am a porn addict i cant seem to quit i staqy clean for a week and then relapse i can’t have normal sex any more i get so anxious i break into a sweat. its so bad i have contemplated suicide its so bad i don’t feel like i can do anything about it. this is the first time i have ever admitted my problem to anyone and i am currently about 5 days clean i am praying that God can help me stay clean this time. thanks for the wonderful website.
    joe

  42. Hey all. Man. I wish I could cry when I read all of your testimonials. Believe me, I tried to let it out. The tears won’t come though. My heart goes out to all of you, as well as to the men who will post their hearts on this website in the future. Brothers, I am 19 years old right now, and even though I don’t know when it started, I have been addicted to internet pornography since I was a young teenager. It started off fairly innocent (if porn is ever innocent), but as I got older, I started looking at harder stuff. As I read your testimonies and how this addiction has affected your lives and relationships, I have realized what it has done to my own life. I truly believe that it has made me un-confident, anti-social, depressed and anxious. I am so anxious at work when I am around my co-workers who are women. My mind is so filled with lust that I can’t even get near them or around them to put something in a box that is in the same area that they are in. The air is so tense, and I am so paranoid. I can’t even breathe sometimes. Truthfully, I don’t even know what sex was meant to be. Pornography has given me a twisted view of it. I know I need to stop. I know that if I don’t, it will eventually destroy my life, my friendships, and any real intimacy with my girlfriend, and someday my wife. Even though I have been tempted, I have never looked at homosexual porn. I am so glad that I have been protected by that.
    Even though I have been raised in a Christian home, I don’t think I’ve ever really known Jesus. I have been too busy with my own dreams and goals. I want to tell all of you that I am going to make a choice to totally surrender myself to Christ, and I hope all of you will do the same. I don’t think you guys will get mad at me for forcing a religion on you, but I don’t think I’m really forcing a religion. Do you realize that we are broken? We are in need of a Savior, and his name is Jesus Christ. God bless all of you. :)

  43. Many thanks for this site, and to those that have posted in response. I have been addicted to porn and masturbation for 24 years. My father has had an on-again/off-again porn addiction as well, and I’ve called him to the carpet becaues it hurts my mother. However, what right do I have to do that when I have my own addiction to deal with?

    It will not be easy to shake this, but I’m confident that I will defeat it. I’m fortunate to have a supportive family, great friends, and a loving, supportive girlfriend. Again, thanks to all that have posted here and keep faith that you too will beat this addiction.

  44. Thank you so much for all this amazingly helpful information. I am 17 years old and I have been addicted to porn for about a year. I just hate it but it simply comes back to me at times when I am on the internet. It causes me to become so sad and scared. It has made me so scared because I thought I could not do anything and this has caused me to get bad grades on tests. Being that I am religious, I never felt good inside and I was constantly worried at how God would punish me for my actions. I have prayed constantly but it has come back, and I have also gone to reconciliation to confess my grave sin. I never thought that it would be so bad but porn has affected my life greatly and I have stopped looking at it for about three months but it has come back suddenly. Now I am ready to take a strong stand against porn and I am willing to overcome my problem.

    There is one more point I would like to add: another good trick to get rid of any habit is to set up a calendar and for every day that you do not do that certain thing you cross of a day. The calendar gets longer and longer and after you have done it for a few days or weeks it builds up your confidence. It really has helped me in a few situations.

    I hope everyone that sees this can stop watching porn, and I will keep all of you in my prayers. Again, thank you so much for these articles, and I am sure that they have helped hundreds or thousands of people and they are bound to help even more in the future.

    Good luck to you all,
    Jacob

  45. I would like to thank every single person who has posted their own critical and struggling story. I am 19 years old and deal with a lot of personal issues. Never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and has never had sex. im the oldest of my best friends, and I, honestly, have had 1 girlfriend in my entire life (pathetic?). I was sexually abused by someone who I thought was my bestfriend back in middle school. This causes me to be a very off-balance person. Im 19, virign, and very uncomfortably confused about my sexuality. As soon as I came across this site (intentionally visisted because I was interested in it) I felt a great weight lift off my shoulders. I always felt like a freak, a loser, and just plain wierd for doing what I do. My life is a complete trainwreck as of now. I have been masterbating to gay porn for a couple years now, I would say 3 to 4 years….everyday. Literally, busting a nut day after day. I had no clue of the short/long term effects of doing such. I always wondered why I felt the way I do and why I do what I do. The fact that I failed at my suicide attempt brought my self-esteem to an even lower level. As I read through this site it almost brough tears to my eyes because every sentence I read I could easily relate to my own life. For years and years now I have been running away from my problems or just covering them up with a plethora of drugs and alcohol. I think now i am ready to admit that I have a porn addiction problem. Its become such a problem that I’ll touch myself without even realizing it…like my body is on masterbation autopilot. I’ve tried to stop once…but its such a sickening itch to not even do something to myself atleast once a day. I have made many bad decisions that not only affected me physcialy and mentaly, but others as well. Its a scary feeling. I need to stop blaming things on people or myself. I need to stop sitting in front of this porn machine and become active. become positive. become…for once….happy. I am a porn addict. And I need help. I’ll take every bit of information I can from here and apply it to my life. I am admitting that I have a problem and am willing to be very open-minded to any techniques that may better myself. I also know that I will need a lot of support from some kind of 3rd party. Again, I thank all of you for sharing your struggle to world…and hope that I can overcome this. It will take a lot of work…

  46. Thank you so much for this!

    I finally came to the realization that my addiction to porn was the reason why I’m so irritable, upset, and depressed. I never actually would have believed it was my porn addiction! I think the tipping point was when I masturbated 4 times in one night. That was the last straw for me.
    Sometimes when I look back at my recycle bin I almost feel like puking at the disgusting stuff I look at. I ask myself “Was I actually attraced by that? Eww!” In fact alot of the stuff I looked at is stuff that I would definetally not be attracted by in the “real world.”

    Sometimes I feel like God doesn’t believe me anymore when I ask for forgiveness. I’m too scared to go to confession or even go to church anymore because I feel too ashamed. However reading this has given me ALOT of hope that I’m not alone and that I really can quit this destructive downward spiral.

    Thanks again and God bless!

  47. I just thought that after reading some of the comments on this site that I really have a bad habit. My addiction to porn is known to my ex-partner and she tried for many years to help me to stop. I have to admit that I still get urges to look at stuff on the internet and its like everyone has said here, the usual one on one stuff is not enough now, I too have been starting to look at gay stuff and while I am hetero, I still think how it just doesn’t seem to have such apalling vibes as it did before. I look at mature pictures and some videos and I pray all the time that my PC, which has been deliberately left without an antivirus so that if I look at something xxx then hopefully there will be some bad code there and my PC won’t work and I will have more of a reason not to look at these pictures. I think that some of the people on here are much better than I am because they are able to fight this horrible addiction. They say that it takes one year to delete from memory just one image of porn and I have to admit that I have been addicted to porn for roughly 20 years. I have tried and tried to stop and I really enjoy the times when my sex drive is low. I enjoy it because I know that I won’t go down that horrid lonely sad road again until my sex drive is back on its hateful overdrive track.
    Ijust want to say that my wife knows I have a problem and wants to help me and I tell her when I fail and she forgives me and is always supportive. I want to tell her that I failed again today, yesterday and the day before, three days in a row and I want to stop this cycle. I’m thankful for the advice from this site and I will be putting it into practise as of tomorrow.

  48. I’m ashamed to say that I have this addiction, and constantly say to my self that it’s a normal thing for a person to be addicted to porn. I’ve probably been addicted to porn in about a 4 year span, and started when I was I think 12. In the last year or so, my addiction started to become worse, and was overcoming my mind, thinking that it was alright. I get disgusted at my self when I know I’m doing the bad choice, but I still do it. It just kills me inside. The worse thing is that I get really irritated when I’m about view porn, and I get mad at my sibilings for such dumb things. What I thought is that I could potentially stop the addiction with a relationship if I attempted to have one, but I doubt that will happen since others say the addiction devastated their relationship. After looking at this site and reading the comments, I get this sense of relief due to the fact that many others are suffering the same problem I’m currrently going through. I’m trying to find ways to stop, but as many others said, my laziness and looking at a hot female brings my thoughts of porn back. I’m going to try and think about a passion of mine when a bad thought comes to mind. I’ve experienced this only a couple of times and was ecstatic that I didn’t do my buisness. I now just need to apply that to my daily routine.

    I would like the thank the person(s) who made this site and the people for their comments. I hope, wish, and pray for everyone who knows, doesn’t know, and is currently trying to stop their addiction overcome this journey that can last for years if they don’t do anything about it.

    God Bless everyone, and I wish everyone safe passage,

    Francis

  49. I am glad I found this site. I’ve been able to make it a couple of weeks here and there without looking at i-porn and masturbating. Recently over the past 2 weeks or so I’ve relapsed and I’m not happy about it. I want help too and I want to stop and I believe that I can it’s just a matter of when and how and ugh!!! I wish that I didn’t look at the stuff tonight.

  50. I had a slight addiction to porn when I was 16-17 (1996-1997) I then got over that for about 3 years, I went to church and felt happy about life. Then in 2003 I became addicted to masturbating over porn magazines, which then upgraded to internet porn, now I am onto movies from the internet. I am 28 and still a virgin, which is a massive problem too.

    I have no social life anymore and I see myself in a very negative way, I have not even talked to a women in months, it is crazy. I have a great desire in my heart to be loved by a woman, but I am really not helping myself with this porn addiction, it creates a huge canyon between me and any woman that I may meet.

    I have told myself in my mind that I am going to be alone forever, so I have to masturbate to porn to curb the sexual frustration. It is now making me feel sick, weak and tired. I just want to have a loving relationship with one woman, but I am so messed up right now. I need help.

  51. First i want to thank everybody who shared their true feelings because it did help me out tremendously and to the creater of this web site. I am 20 years old and ive been addicted to porn since my Early HighSchool years. Last night i couldnt pray with all my heart because i was ashamed. while praying all i was thinking was ” Dang i just asked for forgiveness lastnight and the night before that”. I remember i didnt pay for my internet bill one time and even though i needed my computer for school research and i was really missing out, it also felt good because it had given me the freedom to be free with all the shame thats attached by the sin. Tonight i was really weak, and i told myself that i would stop until whenever i find a girlfriend, but then i thought to myself, well then i would only be using her as a subsitute and thats not right. so i was lost until i came across this site. This is a true challenge for all of us all. we cant control the world but we can control our selves. God didnt place anything on our back that we couldnt handle. we have let this sin live inside of us and sin gives birth to death enventually. we have to fight for our lifes. To all my brothers out there i pray 4 you

  52. Hello everyone and the support groups..i would like to start with im a porn addict or maybe an x porn addict since im going to try to stop..i have been watching internet porno since i was 8 years old and it has been a hobby since..i am almost 20 years now..i watch hetero stuff, no weird animalistic or homo porn..anyways im a good looking guy who can get many gurls if he wants to..lets say i have stopped watching porn for about 10 days..in some cases i would meet four woman in the next hour and get their telephone numbers…once i start watching porn i get corrupted and then i mess up in the dating and relationship since I begin to want from them some kind of sexual relationship even though not open about it. I feal like the porn makes me impatient and I have never really had a real relationship with a woman more than 2 weeks and a half of which I only saw them not more than four times. I’m a sweettalker and Im good at talking to strippers. Their is a problem with getting aroused since I dont get aroused a lot when having sex or touching intimately. Once the porn is on, I begin to feel more aroused than actually doing it(maybe because im not in love with the woman im sleepin with) or because I got uset to internet porn. Anyways Im trying to stop now but I need to find something better to do. For example, once i stopped for 2 months and a half. Another thing is I need to find a woman to be with in a sustained relationship in order to overcome this addiction. I always look around but never focus on one so I keep loosing track and end up with nothing. Everyone thinks im a player but in look and style I am, but maybe it is the Internt porn thats got a hold of me. If their is any advice to be sent to me, it is appreciated, im not desperate but I would sure hell of appreciate some good tips…
    thanks and everyone else whos facing this problem I would reccoment gym, going off the internet when feeling the temptation, and slowly wait to engage in a relationship with woman.
    Note: I think this is happening because I have nothing better to do or to help me cope with stress or boredom.

  53. I have been looking at porn and masturbating for awhile and i want to stop both of them forever. I started to view porn at first and later masturbated to it. I was viewing porn when my family was sleeping. Even at more recent times i would view porn when people were awake i just closed the door and locked it hoping they wouldn’t know. Last time i masturbated to porn was like a week ago. I had been raised in a Christan home but since i started with this porn addiction my faith has gotten weaker and i felt like i was fading away. About a month ago I had told a coworker at my job about my addiction and she invited me to got to church with her. This has seemed to strengthen my faith but i ended up going back to the same thing again.There was a few times after this i went back to the same routine. Tonight i didn’t masturbate to porn but a movie on TV instead, its not really that much different because i still was masturbating. I feel that this post is a good thing for me because its is a start to stay away from masturbation and porn. I want to start living for Christ in every aspect of my life i had tried but i didn’t try hard enough. I feel that this post is important to me because porn and masturbation just leads to regret and makes me feel bad later.

    Thanks for your posts guys and God Bless.

  54. This page has torn my heart. This addiction has hurt us all and many others.
    I cannot describe the pain and sorrow I have inflicted on myself due to my addiction. Please take a moment and hear my take on things, as I am willing to hear anything anyone else has to say if it can help my addiction.

    My name is Glenn. I am the worst of the worst with pornography addiction. I have been submersed to the very core with pornography. It has taken its roots deep within my soul. I am not hear to glorify my addiction or porn, but this is why I think I am the worst of the worst.

    My addiction started at age 13. I had unbridled access to the internet growing up, and knew how to hide it very well. I would spent entire days viewing pornography and masturbating. The more I continued this behavior, the worse it became. Ten-fifteen times a week was “normal” for me. This addiction continued from 13 well into my 20′s. As I got older, nothing changed, except for my guilt. The constant roller coaster emotions had left me numb, and I could no longer distinguish the effect this addiction had on my life. As the years went by, I didn’t even feel guilty about it anymore. It just became an empty practice of excitement, and then let-down. This was then followed by repeating the cycle under a masquerade of filling the void.

    I found myself with porn everywhere; my phone, on my i-pod, on my computer and burrowed deep in my being. No place was off limits for masturbation and pornography; my room, my bed, my bathroom, work, hotels, friends house and while driving. How bad was it that I would masturbate while driving with the Video playing on my I-pod???? Entire hardrives were filled with videos of all my favorite stars. (40+ GIGS). Having massive collections did not fill the void. Getting into the more hardcore pornography didn’t fill the void. New techniques, new spots, new positions. All the same. Empty. Just Empty. No Void Filled.

    This addiction has cause much heartache, and much lost time. I sometimes wonder if my addiction has cost lives by not using my self for God’s Kingdom and saving the lost.

    My Jesus has always been there for me, but as I continued this addiction, I put him in the backseat.

    Recently I have become a substance abuse counselor in my community. Wow. We are worse off then those addicted to alcohol or drugs. I think the addiction we face is more powerful than we realize. More powerful than Meth? I think so. How many times have you tried to quit? How often are you exposed to triggers? How hard is it to suppress the natural want for sexual release? How long have you been addicted?

    A meth addict is much easier to see how his addiction has affected his life. We need not underestimate its power and control or addiction to pornography and masturbation play in our lives. Everywhere we look in America there is sexual exposure from attractive women. We are men, and naturally have strong desires to have sex. How often is a meth addict exposed to images of methamphetamine’s everywhere they look?
    Our addiction is as much powerful as the person hooked on mind altering substances. We should not take this issue lightly

    Many of the lies and myths you heard about this addiction are untrue and very hurtful. This addiction will cause you pain, and will negatively affect you. There are not any excuses for our addiction, and we will not fill any void by continuing in the behavior.
    Since working at my rehab clinic, I have decided to seek treatment for my own addiction. I get to hear educations about substance abuse and addictions and use the information and apply it to my life (Pornography addiction). I know how they feel breaking an addiction, and it is not easy. The alcoholic and I share the same thought patterns and have both been affected negatively from it. We can longer continue in our ways, lest we lose everything.Once you are truly fed up and can’t stop your addiction is when your ready to change.

    Rejoice and get excited! The changing day has come! We can and will make a change in our lives! With the confidence, education, will-power and strength we will overcome! I will not allow this stronghold of ten years to continue! This is a state of emergency. Immediate action must be taken! Break Free of the chains! Stand Tall. You are not alone, and you never will be. I am serious about staying clean. I longer wish to feel dead inside. I want to feel alive and on FIRE! Join me! Use this web site and use your peers. One of the fundamentals of our rehab unit is community and accountability. We are not designed to go through life alone. If you ever need to talk with someone or need an accountability partner, I am more than willing to invest in you.

    “I believe in Jesus. He is Lord of Lord and King of Kings. It really wasn’t long ago that i was bound by chains and trampled on. I felt like all my days were numbered. I felt so all alone but i was wrong. Oh the Lord has never left me. He is always there to catch me when I fall…He’s taken me so far from where I used to be, he is my everything. That why I believe in Jesus. He is Lord of Lord and King of Kings. Whoah he rescued me.”
    -Seventh Day Slumber-

  55. hy its my fourth day without looking at porn or masturbating. I always thought if i get to 3 weeks, then i’ll have enough will power to not fall into temptation.the best ive managed was 2 weeks. the last time I went on porn was shamefull and disgusting to say the least, the reason being is Its making me become something I dont want to be (looking at sick porn).I use to think that its part of my sexuality but now i realise that its completly different.let me explain. i’ll try.

    hmm when i look at porn, i allow myself to look at “sick” stuff.but in reality I try not to look at girls in skimpy outfits (most of the tym).you see in reality you look at girls cuz well you might want to have sex with them but with internet porn, its not about sex more hmm still not sure.but i do know that.

    I know ive not really made sense. all I want to say is that when u say to urself that everything and i mean everything youve done (i.e look at porn and the disgusting stuff) on the internet doesnt make who you are, or who you can/will become.

    this site is amazing i would reccommed people suffering from internet porn addiction to write something here it really does help, another thing i do (and you can try it out for urself) is to read a few comments (from other users). everyday. to see people fighting this helps me with my fight.to know where not bad, that this illness is bad, and its simply that an illness not ur character.
    where not alone

  56. wow… never did I think that I would be here but I have to face up to this problem. I’m almost 20 and probably got into porn when I was 5 (shocking I know) thanks to a cousin of mine. I ended up losing my virginity not too long afterward.

    For years, probably from 6 to 13 years of age I was off it, I totally forgot it existed till I was at home and I found a video, and I started watching that whenever I could, I actually started masturbating to the porn not too soon afterward and I’m one of the people that can owe their first orgasm to masturbating, which actually shames me. Luckily the video machine broke but that was around the time DVD became the thing in my country and not too long after we got a DVD machine I found a new porn DVD next to the video, if I had known then what all that would have started I wouldn’t have been so excited about it. So my problem started but at least I was restricted by privacy (I lived with my mom).

    I was first exposed to internet porn at school during typing classes (don’t ask) and all my friends were into it, till one day they all turned their backs on it and I had to pretend that I had as well, which was far from true. I’ve always been a curious personality and I knew just how much porn there must be out there on the internet and I wanted to see if I could view it all.

    I read a book during grade 12 and for a month or more, I genuinely wasn’t interested in porn or masturbating anymore (I used some sort of visualization technique they described to help with studying) and even when I relapsed, I felt more like I was forcing myself to; when I look back, I think I had genuinely recovered.

    So when I started university I moved into an apartment with a free internet source, great news for a student yes, but not the greatest thing for someone who was trying to get off of porn. For a few months I curbed the urge to use that internet for porn, till I broke up with this girl I was planning to marry, I got depressed and dropped out and spent the rest of the year trying to put the pieces of my life back together. Naturally my addiction skyrocketed, I had all this time by myself, in the privacy of my own place with a computer that was forever connected to the internet and I felt weak because of my depression…

    Now no mention has yet been made of the type of person I used to be; dominant, confident, well-spoken, destined-for-success (or so I was always told) but the addiction broke me.

    I’m tired of focusing on the negatives and I have made great strides in trying to patch my life back together but because of the nature of life, I do face setbacks, and every time I do it’s back to my place and my computer and back to the guilt afterward.

    I’m not expecting anybody to read this but I would like to believe that I finally got the secret out there. Maybe now that I’ve worked past the denial, I can get back on my feet and continue on the path destined for me. I realise now that it will take real belief to get past this and I will make it work!

  57. I’ve been addicted to porn for about ten years. Two years ago my girlfriend and I decided to get a broadband connection in our home and I became hooked on internet porn. The worst thing about internet porn is the incredible number of links to other sites, which means I can spend hours clicking on various links and images before going back to where I started.

    I get irritable with my girlfriend when I’m planning on accessing internet porn and she’s nearly caught me a few times. I’m surprised she hasn’t guessed what I’m up to. I use the internet for work so I’ve always got an excuse to be on the computer. I usually feel pretty terrible after accessing porn but this doesn’t seem to stop me from doing it again. I get really depressed because I can’t control myself. I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder and chronic anxiety so I get really worried about making sure my hard drive is clean – I spend ages clearing the internet cache and running virus checks etc.

    Sometimes I can go for days, even weeks, without looking at internet porn but then I go through periods when I can’t stop looking at it. Sometimes I feel I’m the worst person in the world. I feel very isolated, although reading these testimonials proves that porn addiction is a very real problem for loads of men.

    I hope all of us can manage to break our addiction to porn and perhaps we should all feel less bad about ourselves.

  58. hello there i have a problem and i admit it. porn has led me down a path of self destruction and abuse. i am ashamed. i wish i could violence it all away. i know it will tae time and im glad others are like me. i am not alone. well theres nothing mre to do but stop. and i feel i am slowly recovering and letting go off my addiction. sorry i let everyone down but oh well. keep the fight alive and stop before you act. amen.

  59. I’ve been reading through some of the comments and my story is simuliar to all of yours. Most of the ages were younger than mine. I am 55 and have struggle on and off with masterbation and pornography since my early teens. Your comments have been helpful. Your desires to quit and change have been inspiring. For those in your teens,20′s and 30′s … don’t be like me. Do whatever it takes to stop the addiction now, so you can be happy now, so you when you are in your 50′s and 60′s you are not still living with regrets and disappointment. I know that today is the day we change. Today we have hope. Today … Thanks for this site. I know that collectively and with the help of our Father in Heaven … who cares about us like we care for our own children and more, we can overcome. Thanks for being here. I pray for you all.

  60. So I’m a 19 year old college student. Been at it since I was 13. I hid it in the dark for a long time…one day 2 years ago, I had enough and so I was with 2 of my best friends alone with them, and just told them everything. It got so many things off of my chest, I felt I could stop, I went without for a month, and then it happened again and now its worse than ever before. I have stopped again. I’m a christian and it has always haunted me. The worst thing in college was my laptop, which was both a blessing and a curse…I’m stopping this before it gets any worse.
    God Bless! Praying for you all :)

  61. i have tried to not look at porn on the computer. it is tearing my marriage up. my wife has taken the kids and moved out. i dont know what to do anymore.i need all the prayer and guidance i can get .i will keep trying to overcome my problem and i know with gods help i will succeed.i will be praying for everyone that has this problem. i thought i was the only one with this problem i see know its a bigger problem than i thought

  62. like every one here i started young, i found dvds in my brothers room and got wandering about them (11 years old) im now 17
    and havent stopped wachting the stuff on the internet for longer than 10 day’s. But today im gunna change, i have to for my sake.
    theres so many things i miss out on and things i could of acheived – like a better education, all because of porn.. from now on i going to change!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . no more porn —i can relate to u all aswell is is pretty amazing.

  63. I’ve just read all those testimonials and felt ready to quit for good.
    I have been masturbating with porn for 2 years thoughout my relationship with my girlfriend who has told me to stop. I kind of just brushed it off and made sure i cleared my internet history more thoroughly.
    In reality i was shit scared, she’d also found links to adult dating websites and was lucky enough for her to think they were the result of pop-up sites…somehow.
    I wouldn’t be suprised if she knew what i was really up to and just decided to give me a chance.
    I’ve never cheated on her and i’ve quit the dating websites and deleted porn off my pc.
    She looks through my history and sees nothing, so i think she’s happy.
    The more i look at porn the more my desire for sex with her wanes. I want lots of women be them pictures or the real thing and i absolutley hate this about myself!!!!!!!!!!

    Already there is a voice in my head telling me that it’s ok to look at it.
    The truth is that i personally DON’T WANT TO WANT TO LOOK.
    I’d love to “not even want” to look.
    There is something inside me that always wants to look.
    It always wants to look because it’s quite happy to look at porn if clicking my fingers and sexy women appearing out of thin air seems unrealistic. It wants variation.

    It wants to feed on more and more women.

    It’s not really a porn problem for any of us because we feel the same loking at some girl imagining having sex with her as we do when we begin to look at porn.
    With porn we know the pictures won’t mind what we do.
    With real life there’s a big chance she’s not going to be into no-strings with a stranger! …back to the pc.

    The main problem is imagining having sex with countless women ..the more the better. It doesn’t fit into our moral society. Or the way we WANT to be.

    That in mind can we condition ourselves or re-wire our thinking?
    Can only be done by making a permanent change and sticking to it, never relapsing.
    Well here i go, wish me luck.
    Good luck to all of you!
    much love guys, we can do it.
    Choose not to WANT to do it…don’t feed the demon, KILL IT.

  64. Another guy that now realizes today that porn has me hooked. I am an alcoholic recovering for 15 years.
    The feelings of excitement and then self-digust after watching it is identical to alcoholism.
    The one phrase that hit me between the eyes in the previous posting is: Wanting To Stop – I tried to stop drinking in so many ways, even going to AA meetings for about 17 years before I eventually got sober. I remember thinking I had to go back to basics to get sober. I used to pray that I would get sober, make all sorts of promises to God, etc. Then I just asked God to give me the Willingness to Want to Stop … It was like stepping back from myself and my problems and start with that simple starting point. It worked and I gradually got well. Now the beautiful gift I have is not just Not Drinking, it is Not WANTING to Drink.
    From this moment on I am going to ask God (Higher Power as in AA) to give me the Willingness to Want to Stop THINKING of Porn, which as we know every action starts with a thought.
    I hope that this may help others out there suffering from this horrible soul-destroying addiction. To addict’s partners …we suffer also as you do.
    Love and Kindness to you all. ohn.

  65. I am terrified, after reading all of these posts I realize what I have to do and have always known. I’m so scared of what I have to face and what I have to fight ahead. I remember how it all started, I remember being in denial. I remember turning my attention to things that seemed to what I thought wasn’t pornography ( for example, feet, hands, neck etc.) so I could ease my conscience. But reading all these testimonies today knowing we all have different interests but it’s all the same. I can relate to every post on this page, just amazing how we are all going through the same thing.

    I can’t even explain how great it is to read and see how open and honest so many of you are, your words will kick start my rehabilitation. Please wish me luck, I’ll be wishing you all the best.

  66. I am 24 years old and have been addicted to porn since i was 14 ….in all these years this addiction has robed me of a chance to become a doctor, have a relationship and be friends with someone. I have always been a topper in my studies but the pressure, expectations has driven me to watch porn and masturbate for quick relief. I was always withdrawn from socialising and loathed my life.

    I have managed to stay away from porn for about a month now thanks to God. I have directed my spare time and energy towards meditation, exercise and prayers…..nd i have never felt better. For the first time in 10 years i have hugged my parents, had really great conversation with colleagues in years. I am also planning to talk to a girl i had crush since few months now that i dont feel asahmed of my self.

  67. I have been a porn addict for 10 years. On again, off again – perhaps more on again. I have read alot on stopping, I am very conversant with therapy etc etc. So here is my plan to stop:
    I am going to stop as of now. I am going to post about it everyday. I am not sure there is a how to, so much as a will to – so I will let everybody know how it is going.
    10 years of my life is enough!

  68. hi,

    i just wanted to say good luck to everyone trying to get out of this addiction and also, that i have officially quit – it feels so much easier just to say it

  69. I am 15 years old and I have been addicted to porn and masturbation since I was 10. Of course, it started out perfectly innocently, I remember exactly how and where. I denied it till not too long ago. And because of it I became two faced and developed a darker half of myself. And it recked my life more than I ever could have predicted. I lost some of my friends because I could hardly look at them the same. And I withdrew into myself as depression grew from many different sources, but porn being the root of it all. And I started a cycle thats spiraled out of control. I thought it was perfectly normal (and even was convinced it was healthy). The second I got into porn at age 10, I became way too mature way too fast.
    Well, the first thing that has started to turn me around suprised me. My parents sent me on this Christian conferance. There were these speakers there that talked about porn, and everything they said hit home. I went to confession right after… God has grown so much more in my life since that retreat, and I’ve begun to fight back about this addiction. It’s not at all easy, but finding this site just now and reading all the testimonials on here has helped re-inspire me.
    God bless you all =D

  70. hey ive been watching porn for about a year and i cant seem to stop. im a strong christian and i hate that i continue to do it. I beg you to please pray for me and give me advice. I really want to beat this addiction and grow stronger in christ.
    -ian

  71. The first time I viewed porn, I was 10 yrs old, boy did that ruin my life. Even as a little kid, I was into women; I recall being 6 yrs old and saw a magazine with women in thong bikinis, not knowing what sex was at that age, all I could think about was just being with those women somehow. I discovered masturbation when I was 13 yrs old and ever since then I was hooked. Throughout highschool, I recall doing it 2-3 times a day, lusting for some of my fellow classmates. We got a computer when I was a junior, and then it went downhill from there; it got worse when I went to college. I would say God has blessed me with good looks and there are/were many opportunities to sleep with women, but I’m proud to say I’m a virgin, because I really want to give myself to my future wife. Unfortunately, this masturbation addiction will destroy any relationship I have, and I’m really scared/angry/depressed about it. Its hard not looking at a good looking woman without lusting about her. If I masturbated too much, or I wasn’t getting turned on, then I would resort to porn. I started off with regular porn and now I’ve developed fetishes, and guys, this is how it gets worse. If we don’t control our sexual urges and resort to porn for everything, the fetishes will eventually lead into promiscuity, homosexality, pedophilia, etc. I recall going to Church retreats and I would get on this spiritual high and not think about sex, eventually it would die down, I would see something on tv or in person, and then I would succumb to masturbation, and eventually back to porn. My issue is not necessarily a porn issue (although it is), its mainly a masturbation issue because I only look at porn to masturbate. I was reading some comments here and read that some guys just watch porn for the heck of it, I can’t just do that….its either watch it and masturbate, or don’t watch it at all. Either way guys, only the Grace of Christ Almighty can pull us through this. Many people don’t really realize and understand what we go through; its also tough not to masturbate when you have avoided it for a while (to eventually quit) and how the seminal fluid is just building up to be released. Its the greatest struggle of my life, please pray for me. This is depressing, I have low self-esteem….and I want to be normal. I want to give myself to my wife and my future wife only, I want all my love/lust/sexual thoughts to be for her only. Society is becoming more liberal, and sex is infiltrating media at a higher rate, we all have to be strong and think about Christ shedding his blood on the Cross to clear our sins. Please brothers, continue to pray and live through Christ, thats the only way we will be free. Thank you and God Bless

  72. As a pastor who has struggled with internet porn for 15 years I want to encourage all the hurting men and women on this post.

    God sees your heart and he loves you even though you fail. No one on this page is justifying. Everyone is crying out for freedom. You are all like the children of Israel living in Egyptian slavery. When Jesus returns he will say to this world”Let my people go!” and he will gather all of us who hated our sins and he will free us once and for all from this body of death. I encourage you to read Romans 7 and apply it to porn problems and remember what God said through David the Psalmist. “The Lord remembers that we are but dust and does not reward us according to what our sin deserves.”

    You are so loved by God. It is Him that gives you the ability to see porn as sin. But as the scripture has said “Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds.” God knows that this world is polluted and his people have to wade through its pollution everyday. Apostle Paul said,” If I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it,but sin living in me.”

    To you women- the most important thing you can do for your porn addicted man is model the grace and forgiveness that Christ gave you. IF your man is humble and honest about his problem, you must not judge him. You must never throw his sins in his face or shame him. If you do he will run back to porn as an escape from the shame. How does God wrap his arms around any filthy sinner? He does it because of his great love. He can give you that kind of love for a broken and repentant man. Become his shield. You must pray for him and hold him in your arms and tell him that you love him because God loves him. That grace will bring liberty into his life.

    My wife knows my problem. She keeps me accountable and she stays very sensitive to my legitimate sexual needs. She forgives me when I fall and she chooses to trust me. For that I will love her all my days.

    May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ fill your hearts with his love and forgiveness.

  73. I sam make a vow today at 6:02 pm on thursday August 27 2009 to now look at any porn everr again. I make this vow permanitely to do good in school and have god bless me throughout my life and to have a good future relationship with a wife, and to do good in football. i state this vow today. Please pray for me and help me to overcome this horrible addiction. God bless all of you who make the correct desicion…

  74. I’ve been reading all these testimonials and I feel I have to briefly share my story as well.

    I’ve been addicted (off and on) to porn since I was about 14-15. But actually, I had started thinking about sex since about 8. To be completely honest, I can’t even remember what drove me to watch my first pornographic film. What I do remember is that I tricked my parents into ordering what they thought was a sporting event but in actuality an adult film. I watched it and was disgusted and awed at the same time.

    For about year after, I never even gave pornography or masturbation a thought. However, the freedoms that come with age (staying out later, unsupervised viewing of internet and television, wrong friends) began to present opportunities for masturbation and pornography to once again enter my life. Time went on. I graduated from high school and eventually graduated with my associates degree.

    I am now 25 and during all this, I have been fighting and fighting and fighting to keep this addiction down. I can’t tell you how much this has affected my employment (I had a good job and lost it), my friendships, self-esteem, and even my health. I have a hard time looking at women without looking at their breasts or their behind. The pattern is like many others here. You stay clean for maybe a month or even a year. You’re confident and proud that you’ve been clean so long. As soon as a stressful event occurs (which for me was my truck getting repossessed), you begin to feel sorry for yourself and begin to “accidentally” stumble onto your favorite adult websites. You fire up Limewire and fool yourself into thinking you’re just going download some music. Before you know it, you’re masturbating and think to yourself, “Well, I’ve fallen into the pool, might as well swim a few laps.” Just that quick, you’ve fallen deep into the muck again. This is pretty much describes the pattern I’ve fallen into time and time again even ’till now.

    Please keep in mind that I am a Christian and I love God with all my heart, strength, mind, and soul. I’ve lead worship, taught Bible classes, and have recently been ordained a minister. Yet, behind the scenes, I’m fighting what has been the toughest battle of my life so far. At times, it’s made me question my faith and I feel horrible because I’ve been dealing with it for so long. I’m very aware of the consequences and I realize if I don’t conquer this addiction now, worse things will be ahead. I’m on my knees on those awful nights asking for forgiveness and you know what? We have forgiveness. We are not alone. We have strength from God. He is the strength you need to overcome because you can’t defeat this on your own power. Believe me, my friend, I have tried and tried. We must look to God.

  75. Hi, my name is Sam and i am very happy to annouce that i have made a promise today to my God and family that i will NOT look at porn in any form. My brother had an addiction to porn when he was 8. He is now 27 years old with a wife and a baby boy. He is also the Chief of something (in his company).. i forgot. And he quit looking at porn when he was 13. stop today because you never know when the next temptation is going to happen. Masturbation is told by doctors that it is not good for your self and it will somewhat ruin your relationship. Masturbation leads to you having a good feeling then you want more and faster so you look at porn. This is what gets you addicted. i promise you if you stop looking at porn you WILL live a healthy and very great life. I am 14 years old and i make a vow to stop permanitly in 2 weeks. IT MAKES YOU MORE UNSOCIAL. ALSO YOUR PARENT OR PARENTS HAVE HISTORY ON THE COMPUTER YOU ARE ON. THERE IS A WAY TO DELETE IT. BUT AS FAR AS YOU KNOW YOU “DELETED IT” BUT YOU DIDNT. THEY CAN SEE DELETED HISTORY.

  76. hey i have a masturbation and porn addiction and i am in the middle of a complete cutt off form it all. im 20 years old in college, it has ruined my relationships and made me think that what i saw is how intimacy and sexual relations was really like. it really effed up my mind. i have even cut myself off from dating for a set time while i focus on god and gain strength from him to conquer it all. This all being cutt off from me can make things harder to deal with, on my internet i put on content block a super strict list of keywords, sites i vistit sites related to them and so on and to top it off i made the password a random 20 letter combinnatoin of letters that i just copy and paste onto the confirmation part and it has made it almost impossible me to access it (believe me i tried). I currently have just come off of a 21 days of not masturbating or looking at porn i gave in a few days ago, but i have stayed clean of porn it was just a masturbation incident, the biggest thing to help is def a person knowing what you are going through. it is embarrassing but it humbles you and if they are our true freind/ trustworthy person you will feel 1000 pounds lighter and it gives you taht positiveness to go on. good luck to all on your battles god bless

    “show me someone who has done something worth while and ill show you someone who has overcome adversity” Lou holtz

  77. I thought I would share my struggles as well. I was exposed to things I child should never be exposed to at a very young age. I was looking at porn by age 12 and became addicted to it and masturbating very soon afterwards. I stuggled with this all through high school. I was left feeling so shameful and disgusted after each encounter. I am a Christian yet I am so disgusted and ashamed of myself that I often do not feel like one. I thought I finally kicked the habit in college, and I did for a while. Things were good until I encountered some of life’s stresses. I started feeling down and my body started craving porn and masturbation. I wasn’t looking at porn but I was looking at stuff and imagining in my mind (which is pretty much the same thing). Anyways it started going downhill from there. When I went to secondary school it became worse. I was cut off from family and friends and absorbed by my studies. I became lonely, isolated, and depressed. I slipped deeper into the problem and that leaves me here today. I found this site a few months ago. I am trying to kick the habit but I keep having relapses. I have researched some studies that scientists have performed on people addicted to sex and porn. The studies show one common trait, that at some point in the addicts life, they were exposed too or encountered some tramatic event. Either they were sexually abused, or exposed to sexual material at a young age, etc. I know that the longer you allow your addiction to take root in your life, the more your brain becomes chemically dependent on your addiction. Sex, porn, and masturbation addictions are the hardest addictions to break. I used to dip skoal, probaly for a year or so, I knew i was addicted to it so i decided to quit. I still had cravings but they eventually became less and less. I have a history of alcholics in my family, I started drinking when I was thirteen and decided when I was 18 that I could have a problem. I decided to do something about it and today I don’t have a problem with alcohol. However, I can’t quit this addiction. This is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Please would someone pray for me, I know if I don’t stop this thing now it is going to ruin my life and worse my relationship with God! W.C.

  78. i’m pretty sure i’m the first female to comment that is actually watching porn. huh. well, i first started about half a year ago, and got hooked. but i dont want this anymore. by posting this, i am making a promise to myself that i will never watch porn again. so…yeah. that’s about it. i thought about telling someone, because i’m young and i might’ve needed help, but i said to myself, “you’re worth it. you cant think yourself out of this.” and that’s exactly what i plan to do. thanks for giving a place to promise to myself.

    • I am a girl addicted to porn as well. I am very glad you posted, because I was scared I was one of very few females with this addiction. Like so many of the others I truly do want to stop as well. I am a virgin, but I feel like that doesn’t apply after so much masturbation. Especially with my thoughts the way they are, not virgin like. I go to a Christian college and I feel like no one else has this problem but me. Thankfully there is a female sexual addictions small group that I plan to attend. Even if their addiction is masturbation it will be great to talk openly with other girls. I do feel isolated. I have tried councelling. I attempted an acountability partner, but she decided she was too busy. I’m scared of telling anyone else. My friends talk about helping people with addictions and encourage truthfulness, but I never feel like they would accept me after I told them. They say that now, but will they say it after I admit it? Its really affecting my grades too. Study late at night with internet? Not a good idea. I have found timing and stress to be huge factors (college). I pray that I will stop. Mostly because I do want to have a healthy relationship with my one day husband. I am scared this will affect any relationship I could have. Oh and someone on here said they were 19 and only dated once. Don’t worry I’m 23 and I’ve never dated. Way to go Christians, we’re so proactive (ha!). It’s helped me with my struggles to read these as well. I had so many ideas in my head that yes I will stop. Yes I WILL stop. will kept on being tomorrow or next month or after school or when I get married. Its rarely right now. Reading how so many have struggled with this for YEARS and even when they thought it would stop with marriage and it didn’t. That’s making me realize I need to stop it now. Its been a year and a half. I want to keep it that low of a number. Thank you, again, for posting because it is helping future generations. I want to as well be open with my husband, God help me if I ever tell my parents. But if my husband agrees I would like to tell my kids my struggles as well. So that they can stop before it starts. To teach them the bad side/ complications it accrues. I’m not a very open person and this addiction has truly pushed me to my limits. I have to be open if I am truly going to quit. And I am. Please pray that I find an accountability partner. Pray that it will stop. I will pray for you all as well. I understand the frustration and ucky feeling. God will not test us beyond our means. He knows our struggles even before they begin. He still chooses to love us. Love no matter what. God is a good God and I want to stop my addiction today. Can you tell I’m a girl? I wrote a whole novel. stupid.

  79. Tonight Im making a promise to myself thanks to you guys, Iam way in over my head looking at porn, Iam so glad Im not the only one.

    I tryed that covenant eyes thing but they look for your all your details including your phone number, thats not for me thanks,

    Im 34 and married and don’t need to look at porn but i still do every night, then i feel like i get bad luck all the next day, so that means i get wish bad luck on myself everyday, thats a bad way to live so tonight it stops!

    Wish me luck people! I really want to stopso i think that is a good start, also by leving a comment here i feel like i am putting my promise on paper.

    I wish all of you the best of luck and maybe tonight the road to freedom from porn starts

    thanks for hosting a site like this

    Mike

  80. Iam after signing up to that candeo programme, and im staring to feel better already, as it doesn’t preach at you, so here’s hoping i break free from this

    good luck people

  81. My conscience is in a terrible state. This has become soo much of a problem for me and my emotions and everything else, that I visited this site before i viewed terrible addicting dark visionaries and thoughts. I ask for forgiveness and deliverance from this. Please pray for those who go through these addicting, lustful times. As I pray too. Thank You All For Standing As One.. For Admitance, Acceptance, And Soon Deliverance Of This Addiction. At Times I Get SOOO Mad At Myself For Falling Short And Giving In To Lustful Porn. Pleaasee All.. Step By Step.. Take Action To Delete This Addiction So It Can Subside And Never To Return In Our Lives. Our Bodies Should Be Wholesome Spiritually, Faithfully and Everything. This Is Only A Setback For Me. Again, Please Pray For Us Going Through This. God Bless..
    Mike

  82. Hello though am not a porn addict but once in a while i do check porn site when i feel very lonely at home. but i will go with the last step of getting rid of my personal home internet subscription since i can always use the net at the office in which there is no way i can log on to a porn site there because there is no privacy there at the office. your suggestion is really the best for me because i do not want to ever see this site again whether or not am addicted.

  83. This is the first time I’ve “said” these words: I am addicted to internet porn. I have spent, on many days, in excess of four to six hours looking at it and masturbating. I first discovered porn when I was 10 or 11. It was my brother who introduced it to me in the form of a couple of cassette tapes borrowed from a friend. I will be thirty in september. My son, who will be 2 on July 17 has just joined me. He would be here whether I was typing on this blog, or…I love him more than anything in the world…to think that I could expose him to it. This is bigger than you or I. It is more than we can handle on our own.

    I have been addicted to a lot of things. My biggest weakness is an extremely addictive personality. I’ve tried almost every drug under the sun and been addicted to many of them. Nicotine, cocaine, and alchohol were the three hardest to quit…until now.

    I’ve been married now for four and a half years and my precious wife still doesn’t know. I find myself indulging so much sometimes, that I can’t even get it up anymore to be intimate with her, whether I want to or not. Sometimes I deliberately start arguments with her, if I think she might be in the mood, so that I won’t be expected to perform. I’m self employed as a general contractor, and lead several ministries within a large church. No one knows. No one but me, and it’s killing me so slowly. I hate myself for the disgust and betrayal that I know my wife would feel toward me were she to find out, and I hate myself for the legacy this is leaving for my children (number two will be here in October). Most of all, I hate myself for how I have betrayed the author of salvation, a pure and loving God, who would send his own son to die, and would have done so to save even just me. This is how I praise Him? I’m desperate.

    I will pray for all of you who’s posts I have read, and all those who need to find this page. Thank you to newlifehabits, who has made me realize that I am not alone. What legacy will you leave?

  84. I had never been able to admit I had a porn addicition until today, when I broke up with my girlfriend. Unable to fully commit to her I began to search for the real reason I had failed in this relationship and others. Instead of concluding that it was simply my commitment phobia, I believe that porn addicition was also to blame. My beliefs: that I didn’t need her, could live without her, that there would be another chance around the corner, that on my own I would never disappoint or upset someone else are derived straight from the fantastical and desensitizing world of porn. I had never seen anything wrong with porn but with the advent of the internet it has become all consuming, easy to access and inexpensive. It fits into our world of zero commitment, consumer insatiability and thrill seeking but only gives back low self esteem, shame and an inability to properly connect. It produces people who aren’t really there and who prefer to live in a world far removed from reality.
    I started early after finding an abandoned mag in a local park and even told my teenage pals I wanted to be a porn photographer when I grew up. It was all fun then but as time went on I began looking at porn more often and for longer periods and now I feel greater shame after looking at these images for long periods of time. As with any addiction the key is in being able to moderate and I am not able to do this anymore. I now see the damage it is doing and vow to stop. It won’t be easy and I will approach it in the same way I gave up cigarettes-Acknowledge the problem, eliminate the exposure completely, put controls in place and replace it with something else. Its gonna be tough but I look forward to the day when I can say no and find something more positive to do with my time.

  85. Hi,
    I am a young newlywed and also new mother. Before I was married I had a good life. I was happy and I was living right. Shortly after I had my son I came home from the tanning salon to find my husband mastrabating to pornography on my computer while my 6 week old son was in his swing just feet away. My life has changed drastically. I used to be confident and loved doing thing for my husband, I loved seeing him appreciative and happy that I loved him. I now struggle every single day to be happy. To trust that my husband loves me, that he is teaching my son the ways to love and respect a woman. I wonder if I will become that wife at home while her husband is off thinking and indulging in other woman. I have never been insecure, I had many options in life in marriage. I had so many oppurtunities to succeed. I feel like he has stolen that from me. He has dragged me into a life of misery, regret, torment. I don’t feel like being with friends, being a part of facebook, or even being in a relationship period. I read many of your stories I feel so sad for the men and woman and children that are effected by it. I cannot believe that their are men and woman that would do everything in their power to get you hooked on pornography for no other reason but more money in their pockets. I read that many of you ask God to take over your addiction and hope that one day you will be cured of it. While I completely agree that it is with God that your battle of pornography can be overcome I think that God works through your works. If you show God how strong you are, you have faith that in your weak moment he will give you that extra bit of faith, but that you excercise that faith, and by excercising faith I mean truly putting a concious effort when those thoughts, or that boredom, or that thoughtless unmodestly dressed woman enters your eyesight. Pray to your Heavenly Father and talk to him as your friend, know that he is listening and in him you will find all your answers. Ask him to help you to pivot your thoughts in an uplifting direction, one that will prove your love to your wife, to your children, or any of your loved ones. I read that not too long ago… “To stay in the constant presence of light and not wander into darkness, we continually seek that light in our lives everyday”… there are so many traps set for men in our day and age. Media, music, thoughtless woman, lust for wealth and status. Don’t let them make a fool of the amazing potential we each have. I continually seek my Heavenly Fathers guidance in understanding, supporting, loving, and forgiving my husband. Also in rebuilding my confidence, security, trust, and love for my life. I truly pray that each of you will find that strength to overcome your addictions and in your weakest moments lean on a Savior who I know will complete your effort if you put in your all before you surrender to him.

  86. Hey guys!

    It’s an eye opener how many people have a problem with porn. Its such a subtle process when you first start looking at porn and then it quickly spirals into chaos. I am 22 and started looking at porn around 14. I have managed to kick the habit for long parts of my teenage years but the last 2 years have been by far the worst and and most addictive. I’ve told family about my problem but the reality is they can’t do anything for me unless I meet them halfway as you’re always going to be alone at some point. I know its an addiction that can be overcome as i managed to do so for over 3 years. Lots of the advice on this website is very good and im gonna try and put it to good practice.
    Good luck guys!!!

  87. Hello all,
    I am with you all in this struggle. I am 35 and have been masturbating regualrly since I was about 16. I started with mags and progressed to a few porns, but that was the extent. Now with the internet, its unfortunately very easy and very accessible. My family knows nothing of my issues with porn and the other guys I know all simply act like porn is fine. Being a new Christian, it is a rather dificult challenge for me. I know it is wrong, I know it is sinful, I know it is wrong as I am masturbating, but I can’t stop once I started. I say okay just this last time so make it real good.
    Once I make the declaration I will stop, I can usually do it for 3-5 days, but Living near Washington DC, there are so many beautiful women. I could be walking down the street with no idea in my mind of porn and I see a beautiful woman and I immediately undress her with my eyes. I then keep that vision in my head and hunt for porn that looks like her. After finding the exact right pictures set I masturbate to her. ONce I am done I feel terrible and say again I will stop.
    So today I am once again making this declaration, I will stop looking at porn, no more for me. I must focus that excess energy on God and pray for a release from this addiction. I really want this and I just have to do it.

  88. I am saddened by all of your stories. I too am touched by the porn devil, but I am on the other side. My husband has a problem with it. I don’t think I can take much more of this from him even though I know he Is trying to stop, Its the constant lies that he tells that are killing me. I feel really bad for him. He has no friends. Our relationship it falling apart. He will ultimately be alone in the end with his computer. And I think that that is really sad. I don’t understand this adiction.
    It just makes me feel really sad.

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