Protecting Yourself From All Sources of Porn

I don’t feel a strong need to seek out porn like I did before. I do however need to get a different phone as I forgot that stuff is accessible on it as well and slipped up. It’s a Blackberry and I talked to Verizon and they said there is no way to filter the internet on the Blackberry. Their content filter works on other phone models though so I will get a different one.

Anyway I was thinking over the weekend about an interesting paradox. When we subscribe to cable TV we usually subscribe to certain channels and leave out the bad ones. Of course we do this because it would be silly to have bad channels easily accessible on TV for no reason. However, even though the internet is also like the TV, we treat it very differently. We don’t subscribe to certain websites(channels) but instead we get the entire internet then it is our job to try and block all the channels(websites) in our homes. All the while porn sites and companies make it more and more impossible to block all of them. See the paradox in how we treat TV and Internet so differently even though they are basically the same thing when it comes to entertainment? So we should all be protecting ourselves from the bad stuff on the internet, not just those addicted to porn. This is also true with phones these days since it sits around in our homes and can easily access any material.

I no longer feel so weak that I want to go out and seek porn outside the home like before. Now I feel like protective measures at home are enough. However, porn is like alcohol, if I had a bottle of alcohol in my refrigerator right now then I would eventually give in and drink it. So people who are recovering cannot have porn easily accessible on the TV, the Internet, or even their phones, especially during the post acute withdrawal symptoms, which can last for several months or more.

**Update**

Good news by the way. I was very frustrated last weekend because I couldn’t get an internet filter working on my Blackberry phone. As it turns out Blackberry does not support any filtering. So I went and bought a new phone yesterday, a Google Andriod phone. The Verizon content filter worked on it but it was all or nothing. In other words it filters everything good with the strict settings and the other settings let too much through. Anyway, I was mad because I bought an expensive phone thinking it was going to be safe. So I searched around and finally found a way to make the phone safe. I found a monitoring program that works similar to covenanteyes but it also works on Andriod phones. It is here: http://x3watch.com/x3watchandroid.html

Anyway, there is no way to make a Blackberry safe. Andriods and Iphones can use the program I mentioned above.

This frustrating effort to protect myself from all sources of bad media has led me to a conclusion. People who are struggling with bad media should not be surfing the internet in privacy. 1. Even if they have a filter, in a moment of weakness they will find a way around it. 2. Relapse ends up being much longer than it should since an accountability partner would have helped the person stand back up and try again instead of secretly binging and getting more discouraged and weak.

So a filter coupled with some type of monitoring that emails a partner your browsing activities should do the trick.

Pornography is a Depressant

You’ve most likely heard that alcohol is a depressant right? Well, so is pornography and masturbation. What do I mean? If you haven’t already experienced this then you will eventually if you are addicted to either porn or masturbation. There’s the excitement and then there are the low feelings of lack of self control that follow.

Alcohol is a bit easier for people to understand when it comes to analyzing an addiction. Its simple right, you’re putting a substance in the body that is unhealthy. Typically, anything that is unhealthy physically is also unhealthy mentally as you are not feeling the best you could. So how is pornography or masturbation similar to this?

If you agree that porn or masturbation can be addictive then you agree that they are not right for your mental and physical health. In other words they are foreign to a healthy lifestyle in general and cause more pain than excitement. Anything introduced to the mind is introduced to the body. When you engage in mentally unhealthy activities you will experience both mental and physical consequences. These consequences are usually in the form of some level of depression or lethargy.

So why build the case that porn is a depressant? The reason is that you can get “stuck in a rut” and not understand why. Alcoholics continue to drink because they have a continuous feeling of depression and start to believe there is no other way to relieve said depression other than to have another drink. The same applies to porn or masturbation. You feel low shortly after acting out or the next day and return to the only source of fast acting temporary excitement you know. Drugs and alcohol are not addicting because they cause pain. They are addicting because they are a constant cycle of temporary rushes and let downs.

There is a way out of this miserable cycle. It’s certainly not easy but it’s also not as difficult as you may think. In fact I would compare it, at least for some people, to trying to motivate yourself to go to the gym every day. Not easy but once you get in the rhythm of a routine you find it easier.

Just like with alcohol or drugs there is a detox and readjustment period you need to endure before gaining freedom from strong urges to return to the drug of choice. This period of time usually seems unbearable to most and hence the biggest reason for staying in the addictive cycle. The interesting thing is the body is very adaptive and can readjust itself in a matter of days or weeks. This doesn’t mean the fight is over but perhaps easier than before. There is always the possibility of relapsing if you get lazy, similar to getting lazy with your gym routine.

One biological fact I should point that may contribute to the depression associated with viewing pornography and masturbating is that studies have shown that about 4 times more prolactin(the hormone that relaxes you after orgasm) is released during orgasm with a commited sexual partner(spouse) than when orgasm is done alone. This contribues both to the addictive factor and the discontent factor since you’re not using the body as it was designed to be used. The reason for this is emotions. Emotions, even in guys, are a huge part of a sexual bond and a “full” orgasm. Without the proper emotional connection you are missing a huge part of the equation in a truly satisfying sexual bond. You are essentially trying to fulfill a desire and void within with something that will never satisfy you. Hence the addiction cycle.

How to Stop Porn Addiction

There is much advice on this site about how to stop porn addiction. There is quite a range of suggestions involving physical and mental techniques. One of the top contributing factors to an addiction is an addiction to a certain thought pattern. Meaning you have been thinking a certain way for so long that it is difficult to think any other way. However, without completely changing the thought process that has assisted in keeping you in addiction you cannot hope for any long lasting success.

If you do not work out your emotions and thoughts then you will return to your vices. I will focus on thoughts for a moment here since everything stems from them, including emotions. I was reading an interesting article today written by Jonathan Leger titled “Think low and you will stay low”. This article highlighted the importance of overcoming mental barriers before you can overcome physical one. If you were to do this in the opposite order you would just return to what you have not worked out in your heart and mind and the cycle would repeat itself.

So you want to know how to stop porn addiction or any addiction. Start believing in yourself first because there is nothing that you cannot overcome if you believe and persevere. This is the first step and is very necessary. Stop all the negative self talk and start building yourself up with positive thoughts that cause you to believe in yourself no matter how many mistakes you have made.

How to Stop Looking at Porn on the Computer

If you feel like you absolutely must use the computer but are trying to stay away from porn then there are several things you can do. First off, please understand that there is no full proof 100% way to make your computer safe from the temptation of porn. There are several deterrents that, depending on your level of addiction, could be enough to do just that, deter you from looking at porn. Even when you have been free from looking at porn for awhile you still need to make your computer safe, for in your pride you’ll think you’re strong enough until your mental armor wears thin and you give into the temptation again. So here are some tips. Continue reading…

Are You Willing to do What it Takes?

There is no magic pill, no secret program, no super special technique to overcome an addiction. There are, however, steps and techniques you have forgotten or just never learned. The problem is, even with all the right knowledge and techniques at you disposal you won’t just automatically overcome addiction. There comes a point where you have to choose to work enough, believe enough, and be motivated enough to earn success. Continue reading…

The Psychological Power of Negative and Positive Associations

In order to change the way you act you have to change the way you think. Simple as that. While the truth of the matter may be simple, it is certainly easier said than done as your body and mind are sure to resist change. However, that just means it takes work to change. If you’re willing to put in the work required then you will experience massive change. You need to change the way you see the things that have been causing you to fall. You also need to change the way you see the things that make you happy. This is how you do it. Continue reading…

How Long Does it Take to Overcome Addiction?

If you’re like I was then you’re probably racking your brain trying to figure out just how long it is going to take to overcome addiction. You might be asking yourself questions like, “How long does it take before my desires change?”, “When does this start to get easier?”, or “Why do I feel like I’m not changing?” These are great questions you should be asking and there is an answer for each individual. I got so frustrated and frankly, quite angry, trying to figure out the answers to these same question as I worked so hard to overcome addiction. Continue reading…

Dangers of Delaying Addiction Recovery

Have you noticed how addiction progressively takes away everything good in your life? Well, let me tell you, it does unitl you are no longer the master of your life much less your destiny. You could be the most talented and productive person but addiction will absolutely make you the opposite over time. You could be a great husband, father, boyfriend, or whatever, yet if you fall into addiction you can become the worst in all these categories. That’s one reason why its so important to stop the destructive cycle and change starting now. Continue reading…

Did You Have a Bad Day?

So today or yesterday wasn’t such a good day. You looked at some pornography or masturbated or both and now you feel discouraged and depressed. What now? What do you do when you feel like you’ve tried everything. After all, if the new idea or new technique worked you would not had made a mistake right? Wrong, you are human and have weaknesses. This is not the time to give up or wallow in self pite playing the victim. Besides, your future is spotless, is it not. You still have unlimited potential that you have yet to experience. So how can you snap out of this mood of depression and get back on track and still have hope of escaping a porn addiction ? Continue reading…

Setting Boundaries to Avoid Addiction Relapse

No one is invincible when it comes to temptation. This is especially true for those who have created a weakness with pornography or masturbation. As you can see, the world is full of tempting images which we can hardly escape. You cannot let that be an excuse though. We must set boundaries to live a life of moral safety as much as we possibly can. Of course we cannot become extreme about this and must live a balanced life. Continue reading…